a.k.a I know you there
I close my eyes
And I hear your voice
I feel so good
I feel life
You're a dream to me
You're a lie
I wanna be with you
And look you in the eye
I see figures
Each in the crowd
Yes, all are true
But not one like you
I feel you
Though can't see
Its displeasure
Merely glee
Uncertainty
I hardly see
I know you're there
The world will see
Imagine
All the possibilities
When we will meet
Sharing disparities
Anomalies
Oh thats not WE
Its the love, love
Truly free
P.S. Special Thanks to Vidhi for her, as always, valuable suggestions.
it is very impressive..
ReplyDeleteamazing....it conveys d passion f true love...:) ;)
ReplyDeletedad want to comment but he is saying.. its a bouncer .. next time make him understand ur poems...
ReplyDeletemom is looking around ur decorated walls n missin u...
nicely done.. mom dad read it loud ..
passionate...especially "i feel life" lovedd it.
ReplyDeletefantabulous work..luved it!!
ReplyDelete@Richa thank you..
ReplyDelete@vidhi...its always nice to have feedback from u..
@nidhi. thnx a lot :)
@monika Thnx....
nice one!!
ReplyDelete[I see the figures in the crowd]... very disconcerting in a poem with passion and "true love" as underlying themes.
ReplyDelete[It's displeasure,Merely Glee]... can you explain this stanza ?
what is a displeasure and what's Gleeful ?
I liked this line:
ReplyDelete'I feel you
Though can't see'
Keep it up dude :)
@bhabhs...thnx :)
ReplyDelete@anonymous...true I agree with you **I see figures in the crowd** is not in accord with the theme of the poem..only when you read it without reading the following stanza...try reading it with that.. am sure it will help you..
**I feel you
Though can't see
Its displeasure
Merely glee**
the fact that knowing you are somewhere around and even then the person is not able to see you its not pleasurable ... the feeling hardly brings any joy to the lover.
I hope I have made it easier for you to understand and for the meaning of displeasure and gleeful, please refer oxford..Though I am sure I must have solved your query.
@dheeraj .. thnx a lot man for ur comment.. :)
if you can't see then how on earth can the world see O.o
ReplyDeleteWhat I meant by "figures in the crowd" not being in accord was that this line is too crass.
ReplyDeleteand you should never say something like "refer to dictionary", I know about my options.
"I feel you,
Though (you) can't see"
Makes more sense to me now, but maybe I need to refer to dictionary.
well .. ts not **figures in the crowd**..re-read it please.
ReplyDelete..and if you knew your options, I wonder why you asked me.
okay .. let me explain this to you one more time..
The girl I have mentioned in the poem is someone I know exist but havent met yet. I know that she exist somewhere out there, but I fail to see her because I havent come across her.
I am not able to understand your perception...and I would like to know you :)
Let me try one last time.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't paraphrasing you and that is why I used *Figures in the crowd", but offcourse I meant ..
...I see figures
Each in the crowd
Are these lines supposed to mean that even though the person is looking at people in the crowd, he just sees their silhouettes and doesn't really see them.
Couldn't there been a better term then "figures" ? coz (I am repeating myself here)
"Figures" seems too crass to me.
I asked you coz it's your poem and you penned it with your choice of words.
figures mean Human being...
ReplyDeleteI dun understand why arent you getting it.. anyways may I know who you are ?
I got the meaning !
ReplyDeleteDamn, my discontent was/is with the choice of words.
and don't see why.
btw i forgot to mention thanks in my previous comment,
ReplyDeletethanks for the P.S. note...;) :)