Lucky Books, Kinky Looks.

It was October of 2009. In the middle of autumn, this incident happened. It wasn't the intention that I would some day write about it but I guess it was inevitable. The story starts with a cute girl. Yes, there’s always a cute girl behind every mystery. So there was this girl I met, her name was Zee.

No, she wasn’t Chinese or Japanese. She was Indian, pure hearted and beautiful. Meeting her was another mystery in itself. We met at a bookstore while browsing for books that were unprocurable in the store. While we were waiting for the manager to narrate us when can we find the book? We looked at each other.

Some minutes later he arrived and announced,

“Sir, the book is out of stock…”

‘Like I don’t know, you idiot!’, I thought

“…we will try to make it available to you ASAP.” the manager continued.

I was looking at her, wondering the secret of her gleaming beauty. I staked a 100Rs on Lux.

“Sir, the book will be at most available by next week.” He repeated.

I juggled with the magazines in my hand and uttered, “Oh! …”

Then I pored my thoughts and continued, “Oh Fuck! I can’t wait for that book.”

“Sir, I am really sorry.” said the apologetic manager.

‘As if you ate the book’ I frowned at the manager.

Now the manager turned towards this girl and enunciated, “Sorry mam but you too will have to wait till next week.”

“Actually you two are looking for the same book that is out of stock.” He told us.

I felt as if somebody had injected energy straight up my Ass.

My eyes popped out, I was flabbergasted. I lifted my face to look at her again.

She gave me her most uncanny expression. That was when I closed my mouth and smiled. Now I must tell you about my smile. It’s awesome. When I smile, all my muscles act accordingly and stretch themselves with all the power they have to make the most beautiful smile in the world. :-)

But then she smiled. I couldn’t help but open my mouth again. I was literally gaping at her. I was wrong; she had the most beautiful smile in the world. It was scintillating. That's when I noticed her teeth. I staked another 100Rs on Close up this time.

“Isn’t it….”

She turned around when I was about to make a statement.

I quickly ran upto her and said, “Hi”

“Hi” she replied.

“Isn’t it a sweet coincidence that we both are looking for the same book?” I took my chance.

“Yes! And it gave you a chance to flirt, isn’t it?” She looked at me with one eye brow up.

“Uh…heh...umm...” I blabbered.

“So what do you do?” she asked me.

“umm..I am a final year student.” I said.

“And you study?”

“Engineering. What do you do?” I asked keeping my calm.

“You sound as if no girl wants to talk to you. I am sure you must be single.”

“I am. But you din’t tell me what do u do?”

“See I knew it. I am a class XIth student, Lakshya School.”

She belonged to the best girl’s school in the city. I took two Cadbury’s Shots from my pocket and offered one to her.

“Beta, Mann mein laddu foota?” She smiled.

“No...Hoh...umm...I…” I blabbered again.

She laughed and took Cadbury’s from me. I was lost in her laughter.

I knew from the very first moment that she was different. She actually was different.

She took out a cellphone from her king sized black purse and dialed a number,

“Rajesh, get the car.”

“Nice meeting you. Bye Bye.” She said to me, turned and swayed.

I again ran upto her and stopped her. When I saw her face I knew I was about to get the most sarcastic reply to anything I say. So instead of attempting to make a conversation I smiled and said,

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She said with a smile and retreated.

You must have already guessed how hard the week would have been for me but that wasn’t it. The harder part was that I didn't know if she was going to turn up next week. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I literally prayed to god with all my heart. While praying I opened up my eyes at least thrice just in order to check if God cared to perfect my sight after hearing my prayers. It was a cinematic experience for me and something really cinematic happened next week. Yes, you guessed it right she turned up on that day (and in case you couldn’t guess, you’re too dumb to continue reading). She was standing two shelves away from the entrance browsing some books. I felt as if she was waiting for me. I approached her.

“Hi!” with more confidence I said this time.

“Hi!” she replied with a smile.

Just before I could say anything, the stupid manager came along with a bag.

“Here’s your book ma’am, anything else I can do for you?” The manager handed the bag over.

He then looked at me and continued, “Oh Sir, we have your book now. Should I zip one for you too?”

I gave a frowning smile (don’t ask me about it, it’s something that I do when I am pissed off) to the manager and nodded. Then I turned towards her and looked at her with my best smile on(yes, the same best smile that was second best in the world now).

I got the same weird expression from her.

“I got to go now. Nice meeting you once again...?" she said.

“Arsh, What can I call you?” I made the best use of the opportunity I had this time.

“Zee.” She replied.

I blinked my eyes and checked her out once again and said

“You are Zee?”

“Yes, Zeeyana but I like to be called Zee.” She said and looked at me as if it was a warning for me.

“Ok, Zee and what does your real name mean exactly?” I enquired.

“It means bold.”

“Aah! I know that.” saying I smiled.

“My driver will not be back before 2, I will have to wait now. Shit!” She murmured to herself but I guess girls do this thing quite intentionally. They do it because they want us, guys, to hear to their problems and find an absolute solution to them and so,

“You can read more books or window shop here, no big deal.” I suggested.

“No! I want some coffee. Do you wanna sit at Costa?” she asked me.

I had an adrenaline rush through my body. Two weaknesses, first was coffee and second Zee (yes I fell for her by now), I couldn’t resist the tempting offer.

“Yes, who in the world would say no to coffee?” I accepted the offer.

We went to the Costa, had a few cups of coffee while waiting for her driver to return. Over coffee I realised that Zee was the only child in her family and her father owned car business and so I realised that not only she is pretty, intelligent but she does belong to quite a rich family.

When the bill arrived, I was summing up the coins I had in my pocket. The only thing I wondered was it would be a shame if I am unable to pay the bill. Only when I was iquiring myself about how am I going to pay off the bill, Zee snapped it away. I tried to catch hold of it but couldn’t.

“C’mon you are not paying the bill.” I insisted.

“Oh! But I invited you here, so let me…”

“Sure but next time.” I interruped Zee

“Next time?” Zee enquired with her patent one eye brow up expression.

I was flabbergasted, wondering what to say. Suddenly she started laughing and started scribbing on the bill we received.

“LOL! You are so cute. Don’t worry I was just kidding, here’s my number.” She couldn’t stop laughing and I was drowning in the sea of her overwhelmed emotion.

I was at the same time embarrassed and happy. Embarrassed because I should have paid the bill, happy because she called me cute(whenever a girl calls you cute, it means she likes you).

15 minutes thence Rajesh arrived and we both bade adieu to each other. If you are thinking who paid the bill, I must tell you she did.

3 days later, I picked up the bill that had Zee’s number scribbled on it and took the courage to dial.

At first I dialed the number but hung up without it rang. I thought she had given me the number on her own, I shouldn’t be scared to talk to her. I dialed the number.

A few seconds later I heard a computerised voice from the other end,

**The number you have dialed does not exist. Please check the number and dial again.***

I thought may be I dialed a wrong number, so I dialed again but got the same response. I kept dialing the same number again and again but there wasn’t any alter in response. I was appalled and had no idea what to do. Just when I looked at the clock. It was 1.30 PM, Lakshya’s classes are scheduled till 2PM. I don’t know what struck my mind but I quickly caught hold of my bike and flew to school. I tried to find Zee but couldn’t. I enquired about her but got no positive response. One girl who wore a yellow badge that said ‘CAPTAIN’ said there is no girl by the name of Zeeyana in school. The diwali vacations had started in school and students were firing crackers. Each time a cracker was fired, I heard two bursting sounds. One was that of the cracker, the other my heart’s.

I tried to find her in the city but couldn't, went to the car showroom she aforesaid to be her dad’s and found that the owner was a 70 year old man whose wife died 10 years back and had no child.

It’s been 17 years, I’m married and I still own that bill. I even pray at times that I get to see her once again in my life. Costa no more exists so I go to nearby coffee shops hoping one day Zee would come and sit next to me and I will be able to hear her laugh once again.

Disclaimer:All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Fighting with the Conscience...

It's not difficult to talk to one's self. It is not hard to find answers to many of our questions. We compare, discriminate and make an order of things that are pocket-sized. Fairly the order goes wrong, we fail and we tend to circumscribe our life up to where the things have been working fine. We ask ourselves questions, things start to bother us but do we really think upon the fact that life is not asking us for what we are giving it. It's difficult to fight with one's conscience and break into the young possibilities of expanding one's area of understanding through innovation and thinking, it is beyond concept but it is not that hard to learn from the mistakes that one has already made. Simple things in life makes life simple and unification of the thoughts in association with the moral, integral and significant values of life may make it even simpler.

Standing on top of a building may instill a person with fear and at the same time it might impregnate one with a feeling of power, courage and independence. One has to abduct a burn in order to feel what a flame can do to him, for a flame is calm and composed. A flame does not tell you the harm that it can cause you. It is powerless and mighty. The experiences are endless and the possibilities limitless. The betterment of one's soul and thoughts is directly proportional to the gratuity he pays to himself in the form of self indulgence. A man can only compensate for his duly or unduly transgressions by an act of self analysis. Self analysis is necessary to advance the impasse, a comma in the life. Comma because it's ephemeral and it will pass depending upon one's choice of actions. Life is all about the choices that we make. We make the correct choices according to ourselves but sometimes our choices just do not tend to suit the environment. The redemption is easy, the course harsh and the basic necessity is the self actuation. Just like the old cliche that says "we have to hold our spoons in order to eat the food", we will have to make an effort, push ourselves and attain a state of bliss. For a person shall get what he truly deserves.

Knowingly or unknowingly we make mistakes in life and pay for them. It's similar to the fact that we go to a restaurant order the food which on being served tastes awful and we still pay the bill but that doesn't stops us from going munching at some other joint. Life's experiences are quite alike, we just have to make sure that we do not tread the path we have once already suffered going onto. The destination must not change, but the path should. When a kid is born no one tells him that life would be easy. Failing is not the end, it is just another step up the ladder. It takes in a lot of courage to experience a failure. What is more courageous and dexterous is to double your possibilities after experiencing a failure.

A tryst with GOD ...

I live in a place where God is very close to me in different embodiments. I have a Temple, a Mosque and a Gurdwara along with my house aimlessly projected right in the center of all three. My appetite for movies keeps me waking up till late at night, almost all night infact. This is what an unemployable status does to you. It turns you into a nocturnal, makes you eat a lot of chocolate and write shitty blogs. And so, here I am whining about my unemployability in every possible way that I can. But the message that I want to convey is somewhat different and doesn't concerns with my employability.

As the minutes pass by and the time gets closer, I know that in no matter of time i'll be hearing the prayers from Gurdwara. They start singing orisons early in the morning or as you may say late at night at 3 A.M, everyday with their loudspeakers on full volume. I think the purpose behind keeping the volume high is to make the sound be able to reach most of the Sikhs living nearby or may be they just want to prove that they can be louder than death metal rock. At 5 A.M, the Namaz is recited in the mosque. It was a coincidence that I went out of my room to the other room which is at rest, yes the Restroom, at 5 A.M exact. What actually happened was simply magnanimous and astounding. At first, I heard some mixed up sounds and voices as if someone has put two voices in a mixer and pushed the button. Basically two modulated voices and it was the first time in my four years of engineering that I understood the concept of modulation. Few seconds later I heard two distinct and very clear sounds that were irrevocably sweet and pure. I could hear both Namaz and the Orisons from Gurdwara loud and clear. Each and every word spelt was as clear as the lake water. I was mesmerized at the beauty of God's power, his great creativity that is reflected in each and every iota of this universe. The experience, nerve impulsing and pure. It was surreal. I was spell bound with god's magic and life meant trivial to me. Those five minutes were real and the world stood right in front of my eyes, rather ears.

I always say and have believed that life is simple, it's us who make our lives complicated. Our senses completely rule our body and it is our mind along with the senses that causes our actions. It can be easily understood by the theory of cause and effect. We perceive things in a negative way which is caused by our brain and senses, and we are indebted to our misery. And our actions are the consequences to our misery, which might not be the case every time. It's our dependency how we choose to see things, whether complicated or simple. It depends on us how we perceive things and make our life simpler. We should always try to conceive things in the simplest way we can and our miseries will run far away from us. Our purpose of life should be to make it simple for life is too short to be sad and nature is a great teacher.

Love @ 14

It stirred me up, when I met a series of fourteen year old girls one by one, all stuck in time with an illusion, an unheralded resolution of being in love.

Three girls...Nishika, Sravita and Preeti.

Nishika was the first, whom I had met on a social networking site by chance. She was the one who had been betrayed by the love of her life, Sujeet. He was her life, as she told me, but he had betrayed her. He had left her after making-love to her, but when he didn't even love her how could it be classified as Love-making? Unaware of the realms of love, she trusted the guy and lost her virginity to him. Her true and unconditional love for Sujeet had been embezzled and forged. The reason why I know all this is because she was shattered and needed someone to talk to. Someone, whom she didn't know and someone who would make her feel better, so that she is not disgusted by the mistake she has made. Though, she already was disgusted by the thought, and she was highly remorseful. She had made a mistake of her life and she will have to live with this ugly truth of her life. She, now hated Sujeet and I wondered if she was really in love or it was a mere illusion. A heedless thought of being in love with someone so ignorant that he doesn't even care about you. Love was at the mercy of her thoughts.

When I met Sravita, I thought she is just a small kid with weak sense of humour. She had come from Australia for her vacations here, for a month. I came to know her as she was a relative of my next door neighbors. First day was slightly ignorant, Mr. and Mrs. Sharma came to our place to introduce us to their relatives from abroad. The intention was more of flaunting their "Foreign" relatives than just an introduction. I was laughing deep inside, but couldn't resist from smiling.

"What happened bhaiya?", She asked me.
"Nothing, just feel like smiling.", I replied trying to control my thoughts.
"Mamaji is going out tomorrow since he is stuck up with some work and neither Mami nor mom knows how to drive..."

By this time I sensed a favor coming up. She continued,"...so do you mind showing me around?"
Before I could say something Mr. Sharma exserted," haan haan why not, why don't you show around the city to my niece while I am away?"
I looked at my mom and unwillingly acceded.

Since she being a 14 Y.O., I thought she must be interested in watching some old monuments around in the city, so I took her to the very famous Imambara in Lucknow. But she, on a spur of the moment asked me if there are any good discs in town. I was skeptical about her now and so I enquired, "Aren't you a little young for discs?"
"No, Bhaiya I go to discs all the while in Australia. I go there every now and then."
I thought, being 23 years old I have just been to a discotheque once and this lady who is just 14 visits this topographic point every now and then, What the fuck, I said to myself.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" I just cerebrated she'd be having one, if she goes to such a place.
"umm...I've had a few."

I was shocked to death hearing upon her words, I almost started to curse myself to have had only one girlfriend who left me for certain reasons. I got inquisitive and started to ask about her boyfriends. She wasn't shy and didn't mind at all in disclosing her secrets to me. Those weren't her secrets anyways, all her friends knew about it. After listening to the stories about her boyfriends, I was least hesitant to take her to the most renowned and the only disc lounge in the city. We were the only two souls in the lounge at the fourteenth hour of the day. She instantly ordered a Tequila shot and fuddled it. I being a non-alcoholic and a non-smoker glued to a diet coke. Shot after shot, she was hitting them like a skilled dancer practices his moves. Five and six, this was the time when I indicated the bartender not to serve any more liquor. But what kept my eyes wide open was that this girl didn't have any sign of dizziness and her eyes were crystal clear.

"What shit do they serve, it doesn't have any quality even.", she evidenced.
So right,I thought.

We went out after paying a vast amount of money for the liquor she had consumed. On our way back, she started telling me how she was tricked by her friend to lose her virginity but how she enjoyed it. There wasn't a tinge of repentance in her words. I kept on listening to her tales. She told me all the stories about her affairs and how she had managed to have sex a number of times in 14 years of her life. I envisaged her experience and pitied her for her ignorance. May be, it was the culture in which she had been brought up, that being the reason for all her doings and treacherous course she had trodden upon.

I didn't want to be with her anymore. The next day, without even seeing Sravita again, I took a flight to New Delhi.

When I reached at my brother's place, I didn't know that there's a conspiracy by god and I will have to face on another teenager. I met her on the lift. She smiled at me but I couldn't smile back at her since my recent experience with a teenager were spine-chilling. Days passed by and I was engrossed into my college project. I went to a cybercafe to check my mails and there I saw this girl again. I was reluctant to talk to her, but then she asked me,
"You live in our building, right?"
"What?", I tried to ignore her.
"Anand Towers, We met in the lift, the other day."
"My brother lives in Anand Towers, I've come for a vacation here."
"Okay. Hi! I'm Preeti."

After introducing myself to her, I tried to carry on with my work but she insisted my to sit beside her. I tried to turn down her proposal but she was adamant, so I had no option other than to sit with her. We began talking and the ghost I've been running away from.

"Do you have a girlfriend?", She asked.
"No, I'm least interested in making one."
"Why?"
"Its just my choice."
"Are you gay?"
"Mind your language kiddo.", I gave her a stern look.
"Sorry, I was just kidding.", She smiled at me.

What is wrong with this generation, Don't they have anything else to do or think about? Every time you talk to someone, either they'll talk about sex or boyfriends/girlfriends. I pity the generation.

I took my diary & left the cybercafe. I started visiting another cafe which was in the other direction and 10 Kms away from Anand Towers. One day, I had to visit the same cafe as the other cafe that I've been visiting was closed. As I entered the cafe, I saw Preeti using the same system, she was on the other day. She smiled and waved at me. To avoid the hassle, I straight away went and sat beside her.

"Hi!", she said.
"Hey, Kiddo. How are you?"
"uh.. am fine..you?"
"Good.", I looked at her screen while my system was booting.
"What do you do?", I asked her.
"IXth"
"I didn't know you were in school."
"We never talked, remember?", She gave me sarcastic look.

I was logging in my F******K account, when she started peeping on my side.

"Hey, you use F******K. Add me preeti.xyz@vmail.com"
"Okay.", I said as I knew I had no option.

After adding her, I took a look at her profile and saw the relationship status of this girl,

**In a Relationship**

I thought not again, but then it reminded me of Nishika and Sravita, so I asked her.

"You in a relationship?"
"Yes", She replied with a smile, "By the way, What do you do?"
"I am a final year engineering student."
"Too old for me, eh?", she was still smiling.
"Yes, and I thank god for that.", I gave her the most weird look I could originate.
"So, What do you do other than going to school and having a boyfriend at such a tender age?", I continued.
"Usual stuff, what other normal people do."
"Having a boyfriend at 14 isn't normal for me."
"Well, that time has gone. Now it is."

I looked at this girl to ensure that she is really 14 year old or not. I even pinched myself to confirm if I wasn't having a dreaded dream. No, I wasn't.

"Anything wrong with that?", she asked me.
"This seems like a Question, isn't?"
"Uh.. well, I don't know. I always get a Question out of a Question."
"That's why ..you are too tender, too naive for love."
"How serious are you for this guy?", I asked her,"I don't know you, I don't know him and am not going to tell him, so be honest."
"I'm 100% serious, but I don't know if its love, but its something.", she seemed confused.
"And you still tell him that you love him, right?"
"Obviously."
"So, isn't it a bit unfair to both of you?"
"Actually I do think it's love, but..."
"Funny", I interrupted her, "I disagree, you are just 14. Nobody falls in love at this age."
"Why? I don't think there's any age for love and I do think its love.", She
"Yes, that's the point. You think its love but you don't feel it."
"No."
"Yes. Even I was like you at a point of time. I used to think exactly the way you do right now, until I realized what love really is."
"Okay, Whatever I think I love him and I'm very happy being with him."

After hearing this, I knew this girl isn't going to listen to me so I stopped bothering. I narrated her the two incidents that had happened with me and told her to stay aware of the consequences of being in love at 14.


It really touched my heart, looking at the suffering that this generation is causing to itself. Love @ 14 can sometimes be dangerous to health and may leave you into a state of misery.






Disclaimer:All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental