Tired from not working at office while I was headed to home, I just twitched towards the cafeteria to have some orange juice. I could not believe on what my eye balls were perceiving. She was sitting all alone, having her lunch at around 4 pm. When I saw her, my heart struck 12 and started smiling. She looked lovely, like always. Her hair was falling on her face making her look innocent as ever, as she chewed the food between her molars.
I fell in love with her once again.
She is so pretty. Not that I haven’t seen prettier faces but there’s something different about her. It’s always something different about them, the one we love.
The second thought that came into my mind was-
Today’s my day, let’s talk to her.
I went to the food counter and quickly juggled coins and notes at the billing counter and ordered a glass of juice. While I was waiting for my order to be served, my only hope was that she stays.
And she did! I took my glass of juice and carried it along with all my guts to her table. She was busy on phone, talking to someone in her family. I kept my bag on the chair adjacent to the seat opposite to hers. She was so aloof talking over phone that she didn’t even notice. While I was sitting on the chair, she noticed me. I could totally read her expression-
‘What the hell?’
I gave a stupid smile back at her.
Though I distracted her from talking over the phone, I couldn’t manage to gain her precious attention. I kept on looking at her, adoring her beauty and innocence. I could feel her going nervous, she totally succumbed to it. I sat quietly in front of her for I really enjoyed it. Feeling and watching her right in front of me instilled me with joy. The feeling was exulting and I couldn’t stop smiling.
Some two minutes later, she took a pause in her conversation and uttered words to me-
“Anything you want?”
I smiled at her. She smiled back at me and I nodded in affirmation.
“What?” She asked me smiling.
“Get done with the phone then we’ll talk” I replied.
She continued talking over phone and I continued smiling.
There were two very obvious reasons –
One, I was sitting right next to her. Second, I got her most desired attention.
Happy hands of the clock were moving while I was waiting for her to get off of the phone. Just then, two ugly souls (not that they were ugly) from our batch came in. Their jaws fell right down on the ground and their eyes popped out watching me seated right in front of THE girl.
That was the moment when my head swerved and I felt like walking away. I help my head down and supported it by my hand. I told myself –
‘Today isn’t the day when you’d get to talk to her.’
Those two imminent, stupid souls couldn’t sense that when two people who walk in two different directions (she away from me and I towards her) are sitting together then there must be a special occasion. However, they had to come and sit on the same table we were sitting. Utter disgrace.
She turned around & looked at the two of them. I could so read her expression once again–
‘Eureka! God is there.’
I didn’t move from my chair hoping that the two most unwanted people, at that moment, would walk away.
But they didn’t. I tried the trick of giving them ugly looks as well, it failed.
After a while, she got off her phone but the minions didn't move. My eyes were glued on the LCD behind, as I had presumed. Though, I was looking at her from the corner of my eyes (something guys generally don't do). She waited for me to turn around, I didn't.
Then after some pateint moments, she asked me-
"Yes! Tell me, you have some work from me?"
I nodded positive again and told her, "You talk to them (the minions) then we'll talk."
"I'm done talking to them, we'll leave together."
My heart thumped and I said, "Fine, will talk to you some other time."
She stood up and walked away. I kept on looking at her and she faded while walking. I turned around towards the table and saw my half filled glass lying. I grabbed and gulped the juice down my throat, stood up, carried my bag and walked out thinking that the glass is half filled and so is life. There aren't much chances in life but they do come around.
P.S: Long post after a long time, straight from my heart.
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label words. Show all posts
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Friday, September 17, 2010
The place I've never been to
There's no sign of dust,the leaves are lemon green.
A white bird came close to me,
and sang in my ears.
A dark bench in the park,
that rusted in the rain.
That water in the pool, shining,
making wrinkles, a duck that's swerving.
When the sun shone, the clouds insured,
the snow melted, silent n' slow.
A girl sat next to the pond,
thinking about her life.
Her tender lips, mellowed
her hair, they gently flowed.
Rhymes and songs,
that scenic view.
This place,
Where I have come,
Is it the one I wanted to?
Is it my wonderland?
am so much made,
for this place, I say.
This is the only,
My lovely way.
I love to be in this new world,
but that girl, I love her curls.
I thank you god,
for this utopia.
Now I have arrived, to this beautiful place.
It soothed my hysteria.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Why am I lonely ?
Is it the darkness?
or is it only me?
I see a light ahead,
oh! no, its just me.
why did the moon,
reflect on me, its gloom.
why this melancholy?
why disparity?
this futility,
is emptying me.
I just question this world,
why put me in these twirls.
I feel my head spinning,
my body swerves.
I tried, I tried,
yeah! I served.
gave everything up,
lost all the turf.
It was just for you,
you were my herb.
why did u poison me?
and made me vile.
I don't hate you,
I give u smile.
now I miss you,
not 'cos I love.
its just the care,
I couldn't curb.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Another day on train...
"Be responsible"
I had almost missed my train, thanks to the traffic and i didnt miss my train at all, thanks to poor Indian railway system. We all know how punctual our trains are and how they never get late. However, it was their same habit that saved my ass tonight. As I entered the coach all eyes were glued on me. I looked up in the mirror that had a hazy reflection and one could barely recognise himself in that, I found out that not only i was perspiring as if i was stranded in a desert but my clothes were wet as if I had just taken a bath. I took possession over myself and looked at my berth- S2/19 , thanks to a friend who got my 165 waiting confirmed, courtesy his dad. A guy barely 26 was already sleeping there. I took a deep breath and cerebrated that i will have to do this as well, get him out of my bed for the night. I patted his shoulder to wake him up.
"Is someone there?" Shashank asked me from outside the train.
I nodded in affirmation and looked at the guy again. He acted as if someone had waken him up from a solid sleep, I said to myself,
'Yeah, this is the initiating point of the train, it just got here 30 minutes ago and you are already in such a sedative sleep.'
"This is my berth." I said to him.
He behaved as if I was being humorous. I repeated my words again.
"Can I share the berth with you?" he asked me with eyes full of hope.
"Sorry?" I felt like I have been travelling without a ticket.
"Can I sit while you sleep?" he questioned me again.
"I have quite a luggage with me dude, Sorry but I don't think I can help you." I replied with a straight face.
He left my berth with despair. Looking him in despair I wondered why God put us in situations where he have to deject people sometimes. May be he tests our will from time to time. I certainly didn't win a point there but it wasn't my fault as well. I had so much luggage with me that I had to some bags on my berth. Seeing his dejection I only hoped he gets a seat to survive the night.
The second lesson I learnt on the same trip was-
"Learn to compromise"
The lights were out by half past twelve, normally my time to start watching a movie but i was tired like a cow who had worked all day in the sun. After all that running my dad,shashank and I did with seven bags in our hand, it did feel as if we were running a weight marathon. I was for sure tired as hell. As I closed my eyes, I wished that a masseur comes and gives me a soothing massage that would make me as fresh as spring water. Suddenly I started brushing my feet on the steel net next to my berth. I felt the acupressure working. The pain started to sublime off my body. I continued the process for next 5 minutes, I felt relaxed.
So these were the two lessons that I learnt on my first journey after Engineering. The learning doesn't stop throughout our life. There are events in our life that makes us complete and that makes us truly. This was one of those incidents that are really special and make my life meaningful.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Fighting with the Conscience...
It's not difficult to talk to one's self. It is not hard to find answers to many of our questions. We compare, discriminate and make an order of things that are pocket-sized. Fairly the order goes wrong, we fail and we tend to circumscribe our life up to where the things have been working fine. We ask ourselves questions, things start to bother us but do we really think upon the fact that life is not asking us for what we are giving it. It's difficult to fight with one's conscience and break into the young possibilities of expanding one's area of understanding through innovation and thinking, it is beyond concept but it is not that hard to learn from the mistakes that one has already made. Simple things in life makes life simple and unification of the thoughts in association with the moral, integral and significant values of life may make it even simpler.
Standing on top of a building may instill a person with fear and at the same time it might impregnate one with a feeling of power, courage and independence. One has to abduct a burn in order to feel what a flame can do to him, for a flame is calm and composed. A flame does not tell you the harm that it can cause you. It is powerless and mighty. The experiences are endless and the possibilities limitless. The betterment of one's soul and thoughts is directly proportional to the gratuity he pays to himself in the form of self indulgence. A man can only compensate for his duly or unduly transgressions by an act of self analysis. Self analysis is necessary to advance the impasse, a comma in the life. Comma because it's ephemeral and it will pass depending upon one's choice of actions. Life is all about the choices that we make. We make the correct choices according to ourselves but sometimes our choices just do not tend to suit the environment. The redemption is easy, the course harsh and the basic necessity is the self actuation. Just like the old cliche that says "we have to hold our spoons in order to eat the food", we will have to make an effort, push ourselves and attain a state of bliss. For a person shall get what he truly deserves.
Knowingly or unknowingly we make mistakes in life and pay for them. It's similar to the fact that we go to a restaurant order the food which on being served tastes awful and we still pay the bill but that doesn't stops us from going munching at some other joint. Life's experiences are quite alike, we just have to make sure that we do not tread the path we have once already suffered going onto. The destination must not change, but the path should. When a kid is born no one tells him that life would be easy. Failing is not the end, it is just another step up the ladder. It takes in a lot of courage to experience a failure. What is more courageous and dexterous is to double your possibilities after experiencing a failure.
Standing on top of a building may instill a person with fear and at the same time it might impregnate one with a feeling of power, courage and independence. One has to abduct a burn in order to feel what a flame can do to him, for a flame is calm and composed. A flame does not tell you the harm that it can cause you. It is powerless and mighty. The experiences are endless and the possibilities limitless. The betterment of one's soul and thoughts is directly proportional to the gratuity he pays to himself in the form of self indulgence. A man can only compensate for his duly or unduly transgressions by an act of self analysis. Self analysis is necessary to advance the impasse, a comma in the life. Comma because it's ephemeral and it will pass depending upon one's choice of actions. Life is all about the choices that we make. We make the correct choices according to ourselves but sometimes our choices just do not tend to suit the environment. The redemption is easy, the course harsh and the basic necessity is the self actuation. Just like the old cliche that says "we have to hold our spoons in order to eat the food", we will have to make an effort, push ourselves and attain a state of bliss. For a person shall get what he truly deserves.
Knowingly or unknowingly we make mistakes in life and pay for them. It's similar to the fact that we go to a restaurant order the food which on being served tastes awful and we still pay the bill but that doesn't stops us from going munching at some other joint. Life's experiences are quite alike, we just have to make sure that we do not tread the path we have once already suffered going onto. The destination must not change, but the path should. When a kid is born no one tells him that life would be easy. Failing is not the end, it is just another step up the ladder. It takes in a lot of courage to experience a failure. What is more courageous and dexterous is to double your possibilities after experiencing a failure.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentino Death
You must be wondering why such a horrid title on such an exquisite day, a day when all the people around the world are celebrating love, sharing it and spreading it all over.
My name is Bill and it started about three and a half years ago. Yes, I fell in love too, three and a half years in the past from now. There was this girl named Tashi (it’s a combination of her two different names).
Falling in love with her was a strange coincidence. Love is indeed strange. The first time I met her was at her place with my friends. I had been to VaishnoDevi and she had asked me for offerings to god. I did exactly the same and went to her place to give her the prasad. When she came out, I was mesmerized with her beauty. Her hair was unbraided and to me she seemed like a mermaid in her yellow top. On my way to college, my friends kept on asking about her. I hushed them.
Things just fell in place then and in a knack of time of knowing each other we were together in a relationship. She was my first love and the feeling, Surreal. The strangest and the coolest thing in our relationship was that we never dated out, except for a couple of times. I always used to visit her place and meet her there itself. I was happy that I could see her so I didn't mind it at all. Since she was studying in an engineering college outside the city, I used to visit her place only when she was in town.
One fine day she complained to me, "You never give me flowers?"
A few days later when I met her I gave her a bunch of roses. She was exulted and I was happy to see her beaming.
We went through such wonderful experiences in life. I went out of touch with my friends, not because I didn't want to talk to them but since I was glued to the fact that Tashi was the most amazing part of my life. I was so lost in the awe of her presence that I lost touch with all my friends. Life was on a roller-coaster ride and months lapsed. Not every couple is perfect and so weren't Tashi and I. We started on fighting, from petty issues to bigger ones. I never imagined that she would leave me, for I believed so much in her love that it never did let me, even to think about us falling apart. We went through breakups umpteen number of times but I always knew that we wouldn't stay apart for long. We always used to fight, stopped talking to each other and eventually after a few days of discontent, were together again. This brought me even more closely to her and made my love for her even stronger. I got addicted to Tashi and by now she was my drug.
A year had passed; my university exams approached and shook me from Tashi's exotic fragrance and the most pious feeling of love. But it wasn't enough; I appeared in the examination with least preparation. I was immature, stupe and in love. I was in Delhi when my results were about to be declared. Even Tashi and I were going through a rough patch. I had been to Delhi to redeem a gift that my sister had won in an MTV contest, a fully paid trip to Dhanaulti, a place near Hrishikesh. On the eve of the start of my trip, my results were declared and eventually I flunked. I was broken, discouraged. I immediately called up my dad to tell him what blunder I had committed. Instead of scolding me, he told me not to worry about it and rather asked me if I still wanted to carry on with the trip. I could not; I just could not, I knew I didn't deserve it, so I dropped the plan. The second call that I made was to Tashi, for she was the most important person in my life after my family. I told her that I could not clear the examinations. At first, she couldn't believe me but my damped voice assured her of the fact. She reminded me that she had already warned me about it, and then she asked for my plans. I didn't have any clue as I did not know. After talking to her for another two minutes I hung up the phone. I couldn't look into my sister's eyes.
One day later I decided to come back to Lucknow. I told my sister that I would catch a train from New Delhi station, but went to Ghaziabad since Tashi's college was close to the city. I went straight up to her; due to depression I had already caught fever and was being asphyxiated. She took me to the coffee bar and I got a cup of coffee there but couldn't drink it. She told me she would not talk to me for next six months. I ascertained her that what had happened will not happen in the future. But I guess she had already decided. A few days hence after I reached Lucknow, Tashi broke up with me. I broke apart, wanting to cry but was deprived of tears and in pain. For next fifteen days I was in bed, down with fever. I had gained a feeling that this was for real but still I didn't give up pleasing her. Again and Again, I tried to convince her to come back to me, but fate had ordained and her will prevailed. My mermaid left me and went back into the sea.
I kept on looking for one way or the other to get her back. I bought her gifts (which I never did before) and when I did that, she questioned me
"Why now? You never gave me gifts when we were together."
"I never thought you would leave. I have spent all the money that I had, Please come back." I looked at her expecting her to forgive me.
She took my gifts but didn't accede to get back in a relationship with me. I couldn't help thinking about her. Months later I came to know that she is in a relationship with some Punjabi boy in her college whom, her classmates believed looked like me. I felt betrayed and cheated. I said all the mean and horrendous things to her that I could. Certain horrid things, which could make anyone, feel disgusted. I went through the trauma and succumbed myself into studies. I scored 15% more than my last year's percentage. My family was happy about it, especially Dad.
I decided to move on in life then. By fall of next year I met another girl in my college. She was going through the same phase that I had already been through a year ago. We went into a relationship but I couldn't give my love to her. It was due to her that I could understand Tashi now. I decided to be friends with Tashi and contacted her. Besides, I left the other girl in my college broken apart and I feel sorry for what I did to her.
It is me now after going through so much and doing all the good and bad things together, sitting here in my room and enjoying my singleness. I just wished Tashi a "HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY" and she told me how she relished the valentine's eve with the love of her life. I'm happy to see her happy in whatever way she is and delighted to know that she still has someone to give her love to.
For me, this is the Death of Valentine as I'm sitting here all alone with no date for today. Just to mention,
I am alone but not lonely.
P.S. I LOVE YOU :-)
P.S. Sorry for the long post, I just kept on writing and didn't realize it.
My name is Bill and it started about three and a half years ago. Yes, I fell in love too, three and a half years in the past from now. There was this girl named Tashi (it’s a combination of her two different names).
Falling in love with her was a strange coincidence. Love is indeed strange. The first time I met her was at her place with my friends. I had been to VaishnoDevi and she had asked me for offerings to god. I did exactly the same and went to her place to give her the prasad. When she came out, I was mesmerized with her beauty. Her hair was unbraided and to me she seemed like a mermaid in her yellow top. On my way to college, my friends kept on asking about her. I hushed them.
Things just fell in place then and in a knack of time of knowing each other we were together in a relationship. She was my first love and the feeling, Surreal. The strangest and the coolest thing in our relationship was that we never dated out, except for a couple of times. I always used to visit her place and meet her there itself. I was happy that I could see her so I didn't mind it at all. Since she was studying in an engineering college outside the city, I used to visit her place only when she was in town.
One fine day she complained to me, "You never give me flowers?"
A few days later when I met her I gave her a bunch of roses. She was exulted and I was happy to see her beaming.
We went through such wonderful experiences in life. I went out of touch with my friends, not because I didn't want to talk to them but since I was glued to the fact that Tashi was the most amazing part of my life. I was so lost in the awe of her presence that I lost touch with all my friends. Life was on a roller-coaster ride and months lapsed. Not every couple is perfect and so weren't Tashi and I. We started on fighting, from petty issues to bigger ones. I never imagined that she would leave me, for I believed so much in her love that it never did let me, even to think about us falling apart. We went through breakups umpteen number of times but I always knew that we wouldn't stay apart for long. We always used to fight, stopped talking to each other and eventually after a few days of discontent, were together again. This brought me even more closely to her and made my love for her even stronger. I got addicted to Tashi and by now she was my drug.
A year had passed; my university exams approached and shook me from Tashi's exotic fragrance and the most pious feeling of love. But it wasn't enough; I appeared in the examination with least preparation. I was immature, stupe and in love. I was in Delhi when my results were about to be declared. Even Tashi and I were going through a rough patch. I had been to Delhi to redeem a gift that my sister had won in an MTV contest, a fully paid trip to Dhanaulti, a place near Hrishikesh. On the eve of the start of my trip, my results were declared and eventually I flunked. I was broken, discouraged. I immediately called up my dad to tell him what blunder I had committed. Instead of scolding me, he told me not to worry about it and rather asked me if I still wanted to carry on with the trip. I could not; I just could not, I knew I didn't deserve it, so I dropped the plan. The second call that I made was to Tashi, for she was the most important person in my life after my family. I told her that I could not clear the examinations. At first, she couldn't believe me but my damped voice assured her of the fact. She reminded me that she had already warned me about it, and then she asked for my plans. I didn't have any clue as I did not know. After talking to her for another two minutes I hung up the phone. I couldn't look into my sister's eyes.
One day later I decided to come back to Lucknow. I told my sister that I would catch a train from New Delhi station, but went to Ghaziabad since Tashi's college was close to the city. I went straight up to her; due to depression I had already caught fever and was being asphyxiated. She took me to the coffee bar and I got a cup of coffee there but couldn't drink it. She told me she would not talk to me for next six months. I ascertained her that what had happened will not happen in the future. But I guess she had already decided. A few days hence after I reached Lucknow, Tashi broke up with me. I broke apart, wanting to cry but was deprived of tears and in pain. For next fifteen days I was in bed, down with fever. I had gained a feeling that this was for real but still I didn't give up pleasing her. Again and Again, I tried to convince her to come back to me, but fate had ordained and her will prevailed. My mermaid left me and went back into the sea.
I kept on looking for one way or the other to get her back. I bought her gifts (which I never did before) and when I did that, she questioned me
"Why now? You never gave me gifts when we were together."
"I never thought you would leave. I have spent all the money that I had, Please come back." I looked at her expecting her to forgive me.
She took my gifts but didn't accede to get back in a relationship with me. I couldn't help thinking about her. Months later I came to know that she is in a relationship with some Punjabi boy in her college whom, her classmates believed looked like me. I felt betrayed and cheated. I said all the mean and horrendous things to her that I could. Certain horrid things, which could make anyone, feel disgusted. I went through the trauma and succumbed myself into studies. I scored 15% more than my last year's percentage. My family was happy about it, especially Dad.
I decided to move on in life then. By fall of next year I met another girl in my college. She was going through the same phase that I had already been through a year ago. We went into a relationship but I couldn't give my love to her. It was due to her that I could understand Tashi now. I decided to be friends with Tashi and contacted her. Besides, I left the other girl in my college broken apart and I feel sorry for what I did to her.
It is me now after going through so much and doing all the good and bad things together, sitting here in my room and enjoying my singleness. I just wished Tashi a "HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY" and she told me how she relished the valentine's eve with the love of her life. I'm happy to see her happy in whatever way she is and delighted to know that she still has someone to give her love to.
For me, this is the Death of Valentine as I'm sitting here all alone with no date for today. Just to mention,
I am alone but not lonely.
P.S. I LOVE YOU :-)
P.S. Sorry for the long post, I just kept on writing and didn't realize it.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Spirituality or Hypocrisy
It was a dark chilly night,(No, Its not a story about Zombies.)...
So, I had moved out to have dinner on this cold night where a 6ºC breeze punched you right in your face as it swashed. The temperatures in the city has never been like this ever before. As I moved into "The Taj Hotel" of Alambagh, "BABA KA DHABA", I could see the life propelling. It was a pretty normal scene one can experience at a conventional Dhaba. Two men scolding the waiter because the water he served them wasn't clear. Other servers running hastily here and there to dish up food to the customers waiting. The clapping sound of the chef at the Tandoor also known as the clay oven. It was a pretty normal sight, until I heard orisons, Bhajans, on the stereo behind the bar. The peculiar thing to be notice was the tunes on which the orisons were recorded, Dus bahane kar ke le gaye dil.
Despite, it wasn't the first time I had heard an invocation on a bollywood song's tune, it lured me upon thinking this time. A question that I think should be asked.
Where is the Spirituality in this?
Is it just the lip service?
I relate something like this to spirituality because orisons are anticipated to be a medium to feel God beside you. They bring you up close to God. So, are these people (the singers) really doing the needful? or are they like everyone else, selfish?
Where is the power of devotion and passion? Isn't one's true devotion to God quite enough to strike a tune?
These are merely songs. Words that are complacent, too indefinite and bland to bring a person anywhere near to God. The devotion of a true devotee is enough to generate a tune. It doesn't matter what tune it strikes but one thing that I'm sure of is it, that its definitely not going to be a copy of a bollywood song's. The world is at God's mercy and these singers by all odds are at the mercy of the tunes that our(bollywood) composers bargain out of some other Singer or a Composer. Though, my opinions don't matter but I don't think that our singers are solving the purpose that an invocation, orison, has. Its lacking the passion, the divulgence to come together to God. A supplication is suppose to effuse positive energies into the aura, bring happiness to people and make them feel close to god which is certainly missed out, when its not pure. It loses its purpose to lure people into the serenity of god and it loses the reasonable care it deserves.
"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude." Denis Waitley
So, I had moved out to have dinner on this cold night where a 6ºC breeze punched you right in your face as it swashed. The temperatures in the city has never been like this ever before. As I moved into "The Taj Hotel" of Alambagh, "BABA KA DHABA", I could see the life propelling. It was a pretty normal scene one can experience at a conventional Dhaba. Two men scolding the waiter because the water he served them wasn't clear. Other servers running hastily here and there to dish up food to the customers waiting. The clapping sound of the chef at the Tandoor also known as the clay oven. It was a pretty normal sight, until I heard orisons, Bhajans, on the stereo behind the bar. The peculiar thing to be notice was the tunes on which the orisons were recorded, Dus bahane kar ke le gaye dil.
Despite, it wasn't the first time I had heard an invocation on a bollywood song's tune, it lured me upon thinking this time. A question that I think should be asked.
Where is the Spirituality in this?
Is it just the lip service?
I relate something like this to spirituality because orisons are anticipated to be a medium to feel God beside you. They bring you up close to God. So, are these people (the singers) really doing the needful? or are they like everyone else, selfish?
Where is the power of devotion and passion? Isn't one's true devotion to God quite enough to strike a tune?
These are merely songs. Words that are complacent, too indefinite and bland to bring a person anywhere near to God. The devotion of a true devotee is enough to generate a tune. It doesn't matter what tune it strikes but one thing that I'm sure of is it, that its definitely not going to be a copy of a bollywood song's. The world is at God's mercy and these singers by all odds are at the mercy of the tunes that our(bollywood) composers bargain out of some other Singer or a Composer. Though, my opinions don't matter but I don't think that our singers are solving the purpose that an invocation, orison, has. Its lacking the passion, the divulgence to come together to God. A supplication is suppose to effuse positive energies into the aura, bring happiness to people and make them feel close to god which is certainly missed out, when its not pure. It loses its purpose to lure people into the serenity of god and it loses the reasonable care it deserves.
"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude." Denis Waitley
Love @ 14
It stirred me up, when I met a series of fourteen year old girls one by one, all stuck in time with an illusion, an unheralded resolution of being in love.
Three girls...Nishika, Sravita and Preeti.
Nishika was the first, whom I had met on a social networking site by chance. She was the one who had been betrayed by the love of her life, Sujeet. He was her life, as she told me, but he had betrayed her. He had left her after making-love to her, but when he didn't even love her how could it be classified as Love-making? Unaware of the realms of love, she trusted the guy and lost her virginity to him. Her true and unconditional love for Sujeet had been embezzled and forged. The reason why I know all this is because she was shattered and needed someone to talk to. Someone, whom she didn't know and someone who would make her feel better, so that she is not disgusted by the mistake she has made. Though, she already was disgusted by the thought, and she was highly remorseful. She had made a mistake of her life and she will have to live with this ugly truth of her life. She, now hated Sujeet and I wondered if she was really in love or it was a mere illusion. A heedless thought of being in love with someone so ignorant that he doesn't even care about you. Love was at the mercy of her thoughts.
When I met Sravita, I thought she is just a small kid with weak sense of humour. She had come from Australia for her vacations here, for a month. I came to know her as she was a relative of my next door neighbors. First day was slightly ignorant, Mr. and Mrs. Sharma came to our place to introduce us to their relatives from abroad. The intention was more of flaunting their "Foreign" relatives than just an introduction. I was laughing deep inside, but couldn't resist from smiling.
"What happened bhaiya?", She asked me.
"Nothing, just feel like smiling.", I replied trying to control my thoughts.
"Mamaji is going out tomorrow since he is stuck up with some work and neither Mami nor mom knows how to drive..."
By this time I sensed a favor coming up. She continued,"...so do you mind showing me around?"
Before I could say something Mr. Sharma exserted," haan haan why not, why don't you show around the city to my niece while I am away?"
I looked at my mom and unwillingly acceded.
Since she being a 14 Y.O., I thought she must be interested in watching some old monuments around in the city, so I took her to the very famous Imambara in Lucknow. But she, on a spur of the moment asked me if there are any good discs in town. I was skeptical about her now and so I enquired, "Aren't you a little young for discs?"
"No, Bhaiya I go to discs all the while in Australia. I go there every now and then."
I thought, being 23 years old I have just been to a discotheque once and this lady who is just 14 visits this topographic point every now and then, What the fuck, I said to myself.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" I just cerebrated she'd be having one, if she goes to such a place.
"umm...I've had a few."
I was shocked to death hearing upon her words, I almost started to curse myself to have had only one girlfriend who left me for certain reasons. I got inquisitive and started to ask about her boyfriends. She wasn't shy and didn't mind at all in disclosing her secrets to me. Those weren't her secrets anyways, all her friends knew about it. After listening to the stories about her boyfriends, I was least hesitant to take her to the most renowned and the only disc lounge in the city. We were the only two souls in the lounge at the fourteenth hour of the day. She instantly ordered a Tequila shot and fuddled it. I being a non-alcoholic and a non-smoker glued to a diet coke. Shot after shot, she was hitting them like a skilled dancer practices his moves. Five and six, this was the time when I indicated the bartender not to serve any more liquor. But what kept my eyes wide open was that this girl didn't have any sign of dizziness and her eyes were crystal clear.
"What shit do they serve, it doesn't have any quality even.", she evidenced.
So right,I thought.
We went out after paying a vast amount of money for the liquor she had consumed. On our way back, she started telling me how she was tricked by her friend to lose her virginity but how she enjoyed it. There wasn't a tinge of repentance in her words. I kept on listening to her tales. She told me all the stories about her affairs and how she had managed to have sex a number of times in 14 years of her life. I envisaged her experience and pitied her for her ignorance. May be, it was the culture in which she had been brought up, that being the reason for all her doings and treacherous course she had trodden upon.
I didn't want to be with her anymore. The next day, without even seeing Sravita again, I took a flight to New Delhi.
When I reached at my brother's place, I didn't know that there's a conspiracy by god and I will have to face on another teenager. I met her on the lift. She smiled at me but I couldn't smile back at her since my recent experience with a teenager were spine-chilling. Days passed by and I was engrossed into my college project. I went to a cybercafe to check my mails and there I saw this girl again. I was reluctant to talk to her, but then she asked me,
"You live in our building, right?"
"What?", I tried to ignore her.
"Anand Towers, We met in the lift, the other day."
"My brother lives in Anand Towers, I've come for a vacation here."
"Okay. Hi! I'm Preeti."
After introducing myself to her, I tried to carry on with my work but she insisted my to sit beside her. I tried to turn down her proposal but she was adamant, so I had no option other than to sit with her. We began talking and the ghost I've been running away from.
"Do you have a girlfriend?", She asked.
"No, I'm least interested in making one."
"Why?"
"Its just my choice."
"Are you gay?"
"Mind your language kiddo.", I gave her a stern look.
"Sorry, I was just kidding.", She smiled at me.
What is wrong with this generation, Don't they have anything else to do or think about? Every time you talk to someone, either they'll talk about sex or boyfriends/girlfriends. I pity the generation.
I took my diary & left the cybercafe. I started visiting another cafe which was in the other direction and 10 Kms away from Anand Towers. One day, I had to visit the same cafe as the other cafe that I've been visiting was closed. As I entered the cafe, I saw Preeti using the same system, she was on the other day. She smiled and waved at me. To avoid the hassle, I straight away went and sat beside her.
"Hi!", she said.
"Hey, Kiddo. How are you?"
"uh.. am fine..you?"
"Good.", I looked at her screen while my system was booting.
"What do you do?", I asked her.
"IXth"
"I didn't know you were in school."
"We never talked, remember?", She gave me sarcastic look.
I was logging in my F******K account, when she started peeping on my side.
"Hey, you use F******K. Add me preeti.xyz@vmail.com"
"Okay.", I said as I knew I had no option.
After adding her, I took a look at her profile and saw the relationship status of this girl,
**In a Relationship**
I thought not again, but then it reminded me of Nishika and Sravita, so I asked her.
"You in a relationship?"
"Yes", She replied with a smile, "By the way, What do you do?"
"I am a final year engineering student."
"Too old for me, eh?", she was still smiling.
"Yes, and I thank god for that.", I gave her the most weird look I could originate.
"So, What do you do other than going to school and having a boyfriend at such a tender age?", I continued.
"Usual stuff, what other normal people do."
"Having a boyfriend at 14 isn't normal for me."
"Well, that time has gone. Now it is."
I looked at this girl to ensure that she is really 14 year old or not. I even pinched myself to confirm if I wasn't having a dreaded dream. No, I wasn't.
"Anything wrong with that?", she asked me.
"This seems like a Question, isn't?"
"Uh.. well, I don't know. I always get a Question out of a Question."
"That's why ..you are too tender, too naive for love."
"How serious are you for this guy?", I asked her,"I don't know you, I don't know him and am not going to tell him, so be honest."
"I'm 100% serious, but I don't know if its love, but its something.", she seemed confused.
"And you still tell him that you love him, right?"
"Obviously."
"So, isn't it a bit unfair to both of you?"
"Actually I do think it's love, but..."
"Funny", I interrupted her, "I disagree, you are just 14. Nobody falls in love at this age."
"Why? I don't think there's any age for love and I do think its love.", She
"Yes, that's the point. You think its love but you don't feel it."
"No."
"Yes. Even I was like you at a point of time. I used to think exactly the way you do right now, until I realized what love really is."
"Okay, Whatever I think I love him and I'm very happy being with him."
After hearing this, I knew this girl isn't going to listen to me so I stopped bothering. I narrated her the two incidents that had happened with me and told her to stay aware of the consequences of being in love at 14.
It really touched my heart, looking at the suffering that this generation is causing to itself. Love @ 14 can sometimes be dangerous to health and may leave you into a state of misery.
Disclaimer:All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
Three girls...Nishika, Sravita and Preeti.
Nishika was the first, whom I had met on a social networking site by chance. She was the one who had been betrayed by the love of her life, Sujeet. He was her life, as she told me, but he had betrayed her. He had left her after making-love to her, but when he didn't even love her how could it be classified as Love-making? Unaware of the realms of love, she trusted the guy and lost her virginity to him. Her true and unconditional love for Sujeet had been embezzled and forged. The reason why I know all this is because she was shattered and needed someone to talk to. Someone, whom she didn't know and someone who would make her feel better, so that she is not disgusted by the mistake she has made. Though, she already was disgusted by the thought, and she was highly remorseful. She had made a mistake of her life and she will have to live with this ugly truth of her life. She, now hated Sujeet and I wondered if she was really in love or it was a mere illusion. A heedless thought of being in love with someone so ignorant that he doesn't even care about you. Love was at the mercy of her thoughts.
When I met Sravita, I thought she is just a small kid with weak sense of humour. She had come from Australia for her vacations here, for a month. I came to know her as she was a relative of my next door neighbors. First day was slightly ignorant, Mr. and Mrs. Sharma came to our place to introduce us to their relatives from abroad. The intention was more of flaunting their "Foreign" relatives than just an introduction. I was laughing deep inside, but couldn't resist from smiling.
"What happened bhaiya?", She asked me.
"Nothing, just feel like smiling.", I replied trying to control my thoughts.
"Mamaji is going out tomorrow since he is stuck up with some work and neither Mami nor mom knows how to drive..."
By this time I sensed a favor coming up. She continued,"...so do you mind showing me around?"
Before I could say something Mr. Sharma exserted," haan haan why not, why don't you show around the city to my niece while I am away?"
I looked at my mom and unwillingly acceded.
Since she being a 14 Y.O., I thought she must be interested in watching some old monuments around in the city, so I took her to the very famous Imambara in Lucknow. But she, on a spur of the moment asked me if there are any good discs in town. I was skeptical about her now and so I enquired, "Aren't you a little young for discs?"
"No, Bhaiya I go to discs all the while in Australia. I go there every now and then."
I thought, being 23 years old I have just been to a discotheque once and this lady who is just 14 visits this topographic point every now and then, What the fuck, I said to myself.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" I just cerebrated she'd be having one, if she goes to such a place.
"umm...I've had a few."
I was shocked to death hearing upon her words, I almost started to curse myself to have had only one girlfriend who left me for certain reasons. I got inquisitive and started to ask about her boyfriends. She wasn't shy and didn't mind at all in disclosing her secrets to me. Those weren't her secrets anyways, all her friends knew about it. After listening to the stories about her boyfriends, I was least hesitant to take her to the most renowned and the only disc lounge in the city. We were the only two souls in the lounge at the fourteenth hour of the day. She instantly ordered a Tequila shot and fuddled it. I being a non-alcoholic and a non-smoker glued to a diet coke. Shot after shot, she was hitting them like a skilled dancer practices his moves. Five and six, this was the time when I indicated the bartender not to serve any more liquor. But what kept my eyes wide open was that this girl didn't have any sign of dizziness and her eyes were crystal clear.
"What shit do they serve, it doesn't have any quality even.", she evidenced.
So right,I thought.
We went out after paying a vast amount of money for the liquor she had consumed. On our way back, she started telling me how she was tricked by her friend to lose her virginity but how she enjoyed it. There wasn't a tinge of repentance in her words. I kept on listening to her tales. She told me all the stories about her affairs and how she had managed to have sex a number of times in 14 years of her life. I envisaged her experience and pitied her for her ignorance. May be, it was the culture in which she had been brought up, that being the reason for all her doings and treacherous course she had trodden upon.
I didn't want to be with her anymore. The next day, without even seeing Sravita again, I took a flight to New Delhi.
When I reached at my brother's place, I didn't know that there's a conspiracy by god and I will have to face on another teenager. I met her on the lift. She smiled at me but I couldn't smile back at her since my recent experience with a teenager were spine-chilling. Days passed by and I was engrossed into my college project. I went to a cybercafe to check my mails and there I saw this girl again. I was reluctant to talk to her, but then she asked me,
"You live in our building, right?"
"What?", I tried to ignore her.
"Anand Towers, We met in the lift, the other day."
"My brother lives in Anand Towers, I've come for a vacation here."
"Okay. Hi! I'm Preeti."
After introducing myself to her, I tried to carry on with my work but she insisted my to sit beside her. I tried to turn down her proposal but she was adamant, so I had no option other than to sit with her. We began talking and the ghost I've been running away from.
"Do you have a girlfriend?", She asked.
"No, I'm least interested in making one."
"Why?"
"Its just my choice."
"Are you gay?"
"Mind your language kiddo.", I gave her a stern look.
"Sorry, I was just kidding.", She smiled at me.
What is wrong with this generation, Don't they have anything else to do or think about? Every time you talk to someone, either they'll talk about sex or boyfriends/girlfriends. I pity the generation.
I took my diary & left the cybercafe. I started visiting another cafe which was in the other direction and 10 Kms away from Anand Towers. One day, I had to visit the same cafe as the other cafe that I've been visiting was closed. As I entered the cafe, I saw Preeti using the same system, she was on the other day. She smiled and waved at me. To avoid the hassle, I straight away went and sat beside her.
"Hi!", she said.
"Hey, Kiddo. How are you?"
"uh.. am fine..you?"
"Good.", I looked at her screen while my system was booting.
"What do you do?", I asked her.
"IXth"
"I didn't know you were in school."
"We never talked, remember?", She gave me sarcastic look.
I was logging in my F******K account, when she started peeping on my side.
"Hey, you use F******K. Add me preeti.xyz@vmail.com"
"Okay.", I said as I knew I had no option.
After adding her, I took a look at her profile and saw the relationship status of this girl,
**In a Relationship**
I thought not again, but then it reminded me of Nishika and Sravita, so I asked her.
"You in a relationship?"
"Yes", She replied with a smile, "By the way, What do you do?"
"I am a final year engineering student."
"Too old for me, eh?", she was still smiling.
"Yes, and I thank god for that.", I gave her the most weird look I could originate.
"So, What do you do other than going to school and having a boyfriend at such a tender age?", I continued.
"Usual stuff, what other normal people do."
"Having a boyfriend at 14 isn't normal for me."
"Well, that time has gone. Now it is."
I looked at this girl to ensure that she is really 14 year old or not. I even pinched myself to confirm if I wasn't having a dreaded dream. No, I wasn't.
"Anything wrong with that?", she asked me.
"This seems like a Question, isn't?"
"Uh.. well, I don't know. I always get a Question out of a Question."
"That's why ..you are too tender, too naive for love."
"How serious are you for this guy?", I asked her,"I don't know you, I don't know him and am not going to tell him, so be honest."
"I'm 100% serious, but I don't know if its love, but its something.", she seemed confused.
"And you still tell him that you love him, right?"
"Obviously."
"So, isn't it a bit unfair to both of you?"
"Actually I do think it's love, but..."
"Funny", I interrupted her, "I disagree, you are just 14. Nobody falls in love at this age."
"Why? I don't think there's any age for love and I do think its love.", She
"Yes, that's the point. You think its love but you don't feel it."
"No."
"Yes. Even I was like you at a point of time. I used to think exactly the way you do right now, until I realized what love really is."
"Okay, Whatever I think I love him and I'm very happy being with him."
After hearing this, I knew this girl isn't going to listen to me so I stopped bothering. I narrated her the two incidents that had happened with me and told her to stay aware of the consequences of being in love at 14.
It really touched my heart, looking at the suffering that this generation is causing to itself. Love @ 14 can sometimes be dangerous to health and may leave you into a state of misery.
Disclaimer:All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental
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