मायाजाल

कुछ कम में खुश है,

कुछ सब पा के भी खुश नहीं.

किसी के लिए दो रोटी ही बहुत है,

पर किसी को मीठा ज़रूरी.

ज़िन्दगी थमती नहीं है,

चाहाते आधी हो या पूरी.

लोग मिल जाते है अक्सर,

कुछ गलत, कुछ सही.

रास्ते खुद बन जाते है,

जब मंजिलें हो सही.

अँधेरे का भी मज़ा कुछ और होता है,

एक धीमी सी आहट, और गहरा सन्नाटा.

और बिजली का कड़कना,

वो हवाओं का चलना.

थिमथिमाता हुआ सावन.

रिमझिम, रिमझिम.

इच्छाएं खत्म नहीं होती,

चाहे जितना भी मिल जाए.

और और की लोलुपता में,

फंसा हुआ है इंसान.

मांगो मिटटी,

तो मिलता है सोना.

और सोना मांगे,

तो होता रोना.

यह माया का जाल है,

यह अकडन की चाल.

डूबेगी यह ज़िन्दगी,

बिछा है मायाजाल.

Lucky Books, Kinky Looks.

It was October of 2009. In the middle of autumn, this incident happened. It wasn't the intention that I would some day write about it but I guess it was inevitable. The story starts with a cute girl. Yes, there’s always a cute girl behind every mystery. So there was this girl I met, her name was Zee.

No, she wasn’t Chinese or Japanese. She was Indian, pure hearted and beautiful. Meeting her was another mystery in itself. We met at a bookstore while browsing for books that were unprocurable in the store. While we were waiting for the manager to narrate us when can we find the book? We looked at each other.

Some minutes later he arrived and announced,

“Sir, the book is out of stock…”

‘Like I don’t know, you idiot!’, I thought

“…we will try to make it available to you ASAP.” the manager continued.

I was looking at her, wondering the secret of her gleaming beauty. I staked a 100Rs on Lux.

“Sir, the book will be at most available by next week.” He repeated.

I juggled with the magazines in my hand and uttered, “Oh! …”

Then I pored my thoughts and continued, “Oh Fuck! I can’t wait for that book.”

“Sir, I am really sorry.” said the apologetic manager.

‘As if you ate the book’ I frowned at the manager.

Now the manager turned towards this girl and enunciated, “Sorry mam but you too will have to wait till next week.”

“Actually you two are looking for the same book that is out of stock.” He told us.

I felt as if somebody had injected energy straight up my Ass.

My eyes popped out, I was flabbergasted. I lifted my face to look at her again.

She gave me her most uncanny expression. That was when I closed my mouth and smiled. Now I must tell you about my smile. It’s awesome. When I smile, all my muscles act accordingly and stretch themselves with all the power they have to make the most beautiful smile in the world. :-)

But then she smiled. I couldn’t help but open my mouth again. I was literally gaping at her. I was wrong; she had the most beautiful smile in the world. It was scintillating. That's when I noticed her teeth. I staked another 100Rs on Close up this time.

“Isn’t it….”

She turned around when I was about to make a statement.

I quickly ran upto her and said, “Hi”

“Hi” she replied.

“Isn’t it a sweet coincidence that we both are looking for the same book?” I took my chance.

“Yes! And it gave you a chance to flirt, isn’t it?” She looked at me with one eye brow up.

“Uh…heh...umm...” I blabbered.

“So what do you do?” she asked me.

“umm..I am a final year student.” I said.

“And you study?”

“Engineering. What do you do?” I asked keeping my calm.

“You sound as if no girl wants to talk to you. I am sure you must be single.”

“I am. But you din’t tell me what do u do?”

“See I knew it. I am a class XIth student, Lakshya School.”

She belonged to the best girl’s school in the city. I took two Cadbury’s Shots from my pocket and offered one to her.

“Beta, Mann mein laddu foota?” She smiled.

“No...Hoh...umm...I…” I blabbered again.

She laughed and took Cadbury’s from me. I was lost in her laughter.

I knew from the very first moment that she was different. She actually was different.

She took out a cellphone from her king sized black purse and dialed a number,

“Rajesh, get the car.”

“Nice meeting you. Bye Bye.” She said to me, turned and swayed.

I again ran upto her and stopped her. When I saw her face I knew I was about to get the most sarcastic reply to anything I say. So instead of attempting to make a conversation I smiled and said,

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She said with a smile and retreated.

You must have already guessed how hard the week would have been for me but that wasn’t it. The harder part was that I didn't know if she was going to turn up next week. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I literally prayed to god with all my heart. While praying I opened up my eyes at least thrice just in order to check if God cared to perfect my sight after hearing my prayers. It was a cinematic experience for me and something really cinematic happened next week. Yes, you guessed it right she turned up on that day (and in case you couldn’t guess, you’re too dumb to continue reading). She was standing two shelves away from the entrance browsing some books. I felt as if she was waiting for me. I approached her.

“Hi!” with more confidence I said this time.

“Hi!” she replied with a smile.

Just before I could say anything, the stupid manager came along with a bag.

“Here’s your book ma’am, anything else I can do for you?” The manager handed the bag over.

He then looked at me and continued, “Oh Sir, we have your book now. Should I zip one for you too?”

I gave a frowning smile (don’t ask me about it, it’s something that I do when I am pissed off) to the manager and nodded. Then I turned towards her and looked at her with my best smile on(yes, the same best smile that was second best in the world now).

I got the same weird expression from her.

“I got to go now. Nice meeting you once again...?" she said.

“Arsh, What can I call you?” I made the best use of the opportunity I had this time.

“Zee.” She replied.

I blinked my eyes and checked her out once again and said

“You are Zee?”

“Yes, Zeeyana but I like to be called Zee.” She said and looked at me as if it was a warning for me.

“Ok, Zee and what does your real name mean exactly?” I enquired.

“It means bold.”

“Aah! I know that.” saying I smiled.

“My driver will not be back before 2, I will have to wait now. Shit!” She murmured to herself but I guess girls do this thing quite intentionally. They do it because they want us, guys, to hear to their problems and find an absolute solution to them and so,

“You can read more books or window shop here, no big deal.” I suggested.

“No! I want some coffee. Do you wanna sit at Costa?” she asked me.

I had an adrenaline rush through my body. Two weaknesses, first was coffee and second Zee (yes I fell for her by now), I couldn’t resist the tempting offer.

“Yes, who in the world would say no to coffee?” I accepted the offer.

We went to the Costa, had a few cups of coffee while waiting for her driver to return. Over coffee I realised that Zee was the only child in her family and her father owned car business and so I realised that not only she is pretty, intelligent but she does belong to quite a rich family.

When the bill arrived, I was summing up the coins I had in my pocket. The only thing I wondered was it would be a shame if I am unable to pay the bill. Only when I was iquiring myself about how am I going to pay off the bill, Zee snapped it away. I tried to catch hold of it but couldn’t.

“C’mon you are not paying the bill.” I insisted.

“Oh! But I invited you here, so let me…”

“Sure but next time.” I interruped Zee

“Next time?” Zee enquired with her patent one eye brow up expression.

I was flabbergasted, wondering what to say. Suddenly she started laughing and started scribbing on the bill we received.

“LOL! You are so cute. Don’t worry I was just kidding, here’s my number.” She couldn’t stop laughing and I was drowning in the sea of her overwhelmed emotion.

I was at the same time embarrassed and happy. Embarrassed because I should have paid the bill, happy because she called me cute(whenever a girl calls you cute, it means she likes you).

15 minutes thence Rajesh arrived and we both bade adieu to each other. If you are thinking who paid the bill, I must tell you she did.

3 days later, I picked up the bill that had Zee’s number scribbled on it and took the courage to dial.

At first I dialed the number but hung up without it rang. I thought she had given me the number on her own, I shouldn’t be scared to talk to her. I dialed the number.

A few seconds later I heard a computerised voice from the other end,

**The number you have dialed does not exist. Please check the number and dial again.***

I thought may be I dialed a wrong number, so I dialed again but got the same response. I kept dialing the same number again and again but there wasn’t any alter in response. I was appalled and had no idea what to do. Just when I looked at the clock. It was 1.30 PM, Lakshya’s classes are scheduled till 2PM. I don’t know what struck my mind but I quickly caught hold of my bike and flew to school. I tried to find Zee but couldn’t. I enquired about her but got no positive response. One girl who wore a yellow badge that said ‘CAPTAIN’ said there is no girl by the name of Zeeyana in school. The diwali vacations had started in school and students were firing crackers. Each time a cracker was fired, I heard two bursting sounds. One was that of the cracker, the other my heart’s.

I tried to find her in the city but couldn't, went to the car showroom she aforesaid to be her dad’s and found that the owner was a 70 year old man whose wife died 10 years back and had no child.

It’s been 17 years, I’m married and I still own that bill. I even pray at times that I get to see her once again in my life. Costa no more exists so I go to nearby coffee shops hoping one day Zee would come and sit next to me and I will be able to hear her laugh once again.

Disclaimer:All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Centerstage Goliyan

“What are you doing Mr. Sharma?”

The piece of chalk took off from Golu’s hand (Golu as we called our mechanical teacher, Mr. Ramsaran Chaturvedi) and hit me right below my right eye. It took the smile off of my face and I felt as if I have been woken up from a profound sleep.

“Sir...” I was bewildered not knowing what to reply him.

“What are you doing?” He enquired again.

“Sir, ..." Taking charge with confidence I continued "...actually I was studying the reponse of my project, which happens to be a curved machine. When it is stimulated by the action of thrust upon it until the liquid that is stored in its chamber is pushed out.I’m trying to limit the force so as to improve its efficiency. It is related to my project, Sir.” I told him.

I was watching porn.

According to Albert Camu,
Absurdity lies in the opposition between the human need for meaning, on the one hand, and the unconcerned and meaningless world, on the other. It certainly didn’t seem absurd.


“Ok, carry on with it then, please.”

“Thank you Sir.” I sat down as my colleagues started to giggle like a 10 year old girl.

“Raghu, Shiva, Akshay all three of you out get out of the class.” Golu ordained.

“But sir…” all three of them spoke in unison.

“A person is trying to learn something, get creative and you three fools laugh at him. It’s pitiful.”

“Sir…” they wanted to explain their misery.

“…not a single word, just get out!!” this time Golu had fierce streak in his eyes

“…This explains the working of a synchronous machine.” Golu continued as he turned around.

The three poor guys didn’t have any option other than to leave the class. All three of them gave me despicable looks. Raghu tried to hit me on my head but I managed to escape.

My friends were paying the cost of my sins. My deadly sin of lust and I totally enjoyed committing that sin. It was real fun and I wish I could do that more often.

When Golu left the class, Raghu, Shiva and Akshay came back inside and jumped upon me like a hungry wolf.

“I defended myself in the best possible manner I could but they still managed to rape me.”

Minutes later, our astro teacher, Kumari Hansa Devi arrived. Her name was Hansa Devi but she had not a single sign of beauty on her face, or for the matter of fact, Body. She was as dark complexioned as a crow and was 5’2” in height, wore a glass that had paint coming off its rim and an old sari, which we considered to have been abandoned by her mother. So we called her Miss Hansa Devi, as we presumed she had already been designated with such a monicker.

She hardly paid any heed to the class. She used to come in the class, say whatever she wanted to say irrespective of the fact whether or not the class is listening to her.

Raghu threw the same piece of chalk that Golu had projected towards me, on Miss Hansa. I looked at him not believing he did that, not because he did this for the first time rather because we had a pact that we won’t disturb Miss Hansa since she already looked disturbed.

Akshay and Shiva giggled at Raghu’s undertaking.

Miss Hansa continued to teach as she did not care.

I was mad at him. I stood up and apologised to Miss Hansa for what Raghu did. Likewise, I was paying the cost of Raghu’s Sin. I think that’s why friends are there, they take each other’s problem as their own and still be together.

When I apologised to Miss Hansa, she looked back at me and said, “You don’t need to apologise for something that you haven’t done. A person has to pay the price of his deeds in the same life, sooner or later.”

I had heard this one before, from many noble minded persons.

“I still apologise for his doing mam, he is stupe to have done such a thing. I kindly ask you to forgive him please.”

“That is not necessarily required. What is of more importance is that at the end of the day. A person realises his mistakes and God shall forgive him.”

It seemed like I have been hit with verbiage of reality. I smiled at Miss Hansa and sat down.
From that day on I had a peculiar respect for Miss Hansa, we didn’t aliased her otherwise I would have stopped calling her whatever we would have. And since that day even Raghu started studying in Miss Hansa’s class.