Urge: Part 4

Abhay and Ira are best friends but their long been friendship has turned into something more for Ira. Abhay has a notion that Ira has fallen in love with him but he also has to fulfil his dad's hopes. After being hospitalised (as a result of eve-teasing) for several days, he decides to move to Venice in order to advance his dad's business. How will the story turn for Abhay and Ira? Will Abhay's departure urge Ira to confess her feelings for him? Or will she sacrifice her love for his dad's ambitions? Find out below -

"Is everything packed? All Set." Dad questioned me.

He was on cloud nine after knowing that I've agreed moving to Venice to further his business plans.

"Yes Dad!" I sheepishly looked at Ira who was sitting on the couch.

She had accompanied dad to receive me from the hospital. I was finally getting discharged after 5 long days. The doctors advised me to avoid alcohol and going out for at least another week. Damn! so many things have happened since last week and my liver could really use some alcohol, yet! I couldn't. I was still thinking about Ira. She hadn't reacted or expressed anything after my decision to move to Venice. I badly wanted her to say something or talk to me.

"What happened?" Grabbing my stuff, dad questioned me.

Realising I was staring at point blank, I responded back to him, "Nothing. Let's go!"

Dad left the room quickly and I looked at Ira. She followed dad but didn't utter a word. Perplexed, I followed her too.

On our way out, I questioned her, "So, you're not gonna say anything?"

"What's there to say?" Finally, I heard her voice.

"I shared the biggest decision of my life with you and yet you don't have anything to say?"

Ira stopped and turned around, "What do you want me to say?", She looked furious.

I was taken aback by Ira's reaction. I was still trying to find a response to her reaction while she continued -

"I am happy for you and I will always support you. I supported you when you first bunked your school. I supported you when you had your first cigarette. I even supported you when you cheated on Chitra..."

"...Chitra was cheating on me." I retaliated.

"...which does not give you the right to cheat on her. You've been the male chauvinist of the highest level and yet I have supported you all my life. I will truly always do so until you start digging a grave for yourself which I would not support and would rather die before you drag yourself in such a situation."

"Ira. I am sorry. I know I went too far with that guy's girl, I shouldn't have. I know you've been mad at me but please don't take this as an opportunity to lash out on me. I have always known that you're the best friend I will ever have."

I went ahead and wrapped my hands around her. She stayed calm.

"I am sorry." I re-iterated.

She opened her arms and hugged me back tightly with the fear of losing me. I could sense it.

Meanwhile, dad peeped from the elevator and shouted from down the lobby, "Guys, control yourself until you get home. It wouldn't be safe doing it in the hospital."

Once again, we were embarrassed by the father. We let go of each other but held hands and started walking towards the elevator. While we entered, I noticed dad had a smug smile on his face. As the lift doors were closing, he signalled me 'Well Done' by tapping me on my shoulder. I gave him a disgruntled look. Ira looked at me from the corner of her eye and looked satisfied. Suddenly, we all started laughing in unison.

Dad dropped us home. Ajay bhaiya, was anxiously waiting at the door for my arrival. Ajay bhaiya was our household help. He has been staying with us even before I had gained worldly sense. He was really kind and has helped me through all phases of my life. He took care of all our house needs from daily chores to buying groceries to watering the garden and making sure I get anything I need.

"Bhaiya, how are you?" Ajay bhaiya, smiling, asked me in a happy tone.

I smiled back, "I am good now. It was a really long week. Can you please make something awesome to eat? I think many of my taste buds would have become dead already."

As we walked inside the house, Ajay bhaiya carried my bags and replied, "Sure, Sure!"

We went straight to my room - "Bhaiya, please keep it here..." Signalling him to keep the bags next to the table, "...I will do the rest."

Still smiling with joy, Ajay bhaiya nodded and kept my bags besides the table. He went on towards the kitchen to prepare something to eat.

I took off my shoes and put some music on while Ira sat on the chair next to my, seldom used, study table. I jumped on the bed and turned on the AC, it was smothering hot.

Ira and I started looking at each other when I asked her, "You must be tired too, come here. Relax."

She promptly stood up and laid down on the bed next to me. She was tapping her leg. I knew something was bothering her.

"Are you gonna tell me what is it?" I probed her.

"Nothing yar, I am just tired of all that has happened this week. You and your stupid mistakes."

"Ma'am, I have pleaded guilty for my crimes and I have already apologised."

"It's not about you Abhay. Don't feel so important all the time. Right since you've told me about moving to Venice, I've been contemplating about my life. I really need to do something about it. I feel stuck right now."

"Ira, I know you're a strong woman. Don't worry too much, you will get the job you interviewed for last month. The process takes time. I am sure you will get the offer." I turned towards her side to hold her arm in order to console her. She took a leap and we started cuddling each other.

She stood up and rested her head in my arms while I started stroking her hair. It was a gentle feeling, a feeling of calm.

She looked at me and demanded, "You will call me on a daily basis after you leave. I don't care whether you're busy in meetings or visiting clients or whatever it would take you to do your job. Don't you dare forget to talk to me."

I looked into her eyes and responded, "I won't forget. You don't have to say it." and went ahead to kiss her lips.

Ira felt exalted. She turned around and started smooching me while sitting upright. We were lip-locked and couldn't control our urges. I had my arms wrapped around her body.

She started to unbutton my shirt and it didn't take me to think twice to take her top off. We were dying to get inside of each other, not that we hadn't done it before. However, It was just different this time. We were far too emotional and we knew that our souls needed each other badly.

I reached out and unhooked her bra while she was still on top of me. She felt a bit shy this time and crouched a little. I calmed her and held her from her back and went on to turn positions. Our bodies were hot, we could literally feel every bit of our skin. We went on to smooch each other, we were really sweating. I reached out to my side table where I usually kept the contraceptives but Ira resisted and nodded her head in disapproval. I was confused that she didn't want to use the condom but I gave in as well.

We were really comfortable in each other's body. As if we were made for each other. There was no questioning, no arguments, just sheer joy and pleasure of being inside each other. It was certainly the most amazing moments of my life. Once we were done, we stayed on to lay on bed in each other's arms, caressing each other.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Bhaiya, I've made samosas for you."

"Ajay bhaiya, wait! We will come downstairs."

"Okay. I'll serve it on the table. Please hurry up." He was quick to revert and leave.

We freshened up and dressed back to go downstairs but didn't say a thing to each other other than looking into each other's eyes and smiling. I was really happy that we were able to cope the distance that had started to pull us apart. What happened today wasn't unusual but surely mesmerising. We were better and stronger than ever.

Urge: Part-3

Abhay, a delhi based womaniser, lands up in a hospital while eve teasing a man's girlfriend. However, after being prostrate for a couple of days he goes into an argument with his best friend Ira (who is in love with Abhay.) Abhay realizes Ira's love for him but wants more from life - Fame and Respect. What's next in Abhay's life? Is he going to throw his aspirations away and lead his way into love or is he going to hurt his best friend's feeling and trust? Find out below -

3 hours and 37 minutes later, I finally decided what to do about it.

"Ira...Ira" I shouted on top of my voice.

I waited for a while and shouted again, "Ira…"

The nurse quickly came running in.

"What happened?" She questioned me in shock.

"Where's Ira? Can you please call Ira?"

"What happened?" She questioned me again.

"Will you please call her for me?"

The nurse hurried out on her way to find Ira.

I kept waiting. The nurse didn't turn up again. 15 minutes went by. I shouted again,

"Nurse..."

Another nurse succumbed to my shouts and came in - "She went home to freshen up. Will be back in an hour or so." She told me in a bitterly tone and lashed out.

Another 2 hours went by and I was losing my patience.

Finally I could hear Ira chattering with the nurses outside of my ward. I got my grip back.

I bursted on Ira as soon as she entered the ward -

"How could you leave me?"

"I just..."

"What just? You don't get to leave me Ira."

"What? Don't I get to take a bath just because you're hospitalized? I am neither your mom nor your wife. You should be thankful that at least of all people I am here." She came back at me.

"So now best friends shit is done, is it? You wanna be my wife to be around me, huh?"

"Shit. That's what it is for you. That's how you treat everyone around you, right?"

"You're misunderstanding. It's not shit for me. You just need to be with me."

"Well you just said it." Ira expelled herself out of the ward.

I felt really sorry for being a dick yet again. Even though I knew she'd be back before dusk. I just wanted to share my decision with her. She's always been the first to know.

Ira did not return that day. I tried her number multiple times only to find it switched off. Anxiety and medicines were killing me.

I texted her - "Come back soon, not feeling good. Sorry."

The message didn't get delivered. I kept waiting for Ira's call and didn't realize when I dozed off again.

Suddenly, I woke up to my phone ringing only to find it was 11.15pm, figuring I slept for another 6 hours. I don't know if it were medications that were really strong or just me. I dug my head under the quilt and pulled out the mobile from my pocket, it was dad's call.

"Hello."

"Hey champ! You're alive." He chuckled.

"Yeah dad! Your responsibilities aren't over yet."

"Well, I have responsibilities of a lot more people who work for me. Anyway, just called in to check if doctors aren't releasing you yet."

"Nope. I'm still here. Ira isn't here and I've been sleeping all day long."

"I know. I called 2 hours back and your nurse answered the call, told me you were sleeping. Believe me, her husky voice really made me want to come over but my meetings are keeping me occupied. If not for you, will come there for her as soon as possible." He started laughing.

"Dad! Anything else?" I was starting to feel frustrated.

"Nope. Have dinner and take your meds. I'll try to visit tomorrow."

"Fine. Bye." I hung up the phone.

I pulled my head out of the quilt to head for the washroom. As I slid sideways, I saw Ira sitting on the couch patiently with her legs folded and hands on her knees. She was looking at me. Watching me getting out of the bed she exclaimed -

"Where?"

There was an instant happiness around me. I started to feel better.

"Washroom." I smiled and answered.

She didn't smile back but I limped to the washroom with the happiness of her being around.

I took profound 3 minutes in the washroom. 1 to pee and other 2 minutes to smile, thinking about Ira. I was indeed lucky to have a friend like her.

"When did you come? I can't believe you switched off your phone." I questioned Ira while shutting the washroom door.

"My battery died. I didn't switch it off."

"You run on batteries?" I started laughing but soon realised I was the only one.

"I came around 2 hours back." She responded as I walked towards her.

"What? Should have woke me up."

She kept quiet.

I stretched my hand to pull a chair but she came forth and insisted me to sit on the couch with her.

I didn't say anything. A silence had caught both of us. She wrapped herself around my hand and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Ira. I'm sorry." I finally broke the silence between us.

She was quiet.

"I'm joining my father's business. I've decided."

Ira let my hand go and stood straight but she was still quiet.

"I saw tears in my dad's eyes today. It's the last thing I want. I don't want to be the reason of pain and agony in his life. I'm the only family he's left with after mom passed away."

"What about me?" Ira said with a perplexed face.

"You're family too Ira. You have to take care of him after I move to Venice."

"Venice!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, Venice. Remember dad had ventured there recently. He told me that the city has a lot of potential but he isn't able to give it much time..."

"... I'm gonna take care of that and make sure he achieves his dream."

Ira nodded but didn't say anything further.

We stayed on the couch for a while until the nurse arrived with dinner and medicines.

"I really don't wanna eat this food. Can I just have medicines please?" I couldn't resist the expression looking at the hospital food.

"You can only if you wanna stay in the hospital for another week?" The nurse gave me a smirk.

She pulled the table next to the couch and laid the spread on the table. Mashed boiled potatoes, porridge and fresh cut fruits.

I hated fruits.

Ira stayed with me until I had finished my meal and made sure that I have taken all my medicines. She made bed for me and gestured me to get under the quilt. I followed her signal.

"You wanna hop in? I can make some space." I giggled like a girl.

"No. Take rest. I'll go home. See you tomorrow."

"Wait for a while at least." I wanted her to stay back

"I have to take care of some work. Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow." She responded.

She took her bag and left the ward. I kept staring at the door thinking if the idea of me going to Venice broke Ira but on the second thought, she said she'll be back tomorrow.

I picked up the phone and texted her -

"Good Night. :)"

"Good night." She texted back instantly.

I went on to break the news to dad regarding my decision -

"I'll go to Venice." I texted him.

5 minutes later, he responded, "Awesome."

I carried mixed emotions. I was happy that I was going to be dad's helping hand but I was also relenting thinking about Ira. I didn't know if I was making the right decision, only time will tell.

Urge - Part 2

Abhay, a delhi based womaniser, lands up in a hospital while eve teasing a man's girlfriend. However, after being prostrate for a couple of days he goes into an argument with his best friend Ira (who is in love with Abhay.) Abhay realizes Ira's love for him but wants more from life - Fame and Respect. What's next in Abhay's life? Is he going to throw his aspirations away and lead his way into love or is he going to hurt his best friend's feeling and trust? Find out below - 

'Knock Knock...' It was my dad's knuckles that knocked my wardroom. I made out from the sound on the door.

Ira and I together looked towards the door wondering if our conversation was compromised.

"May I come in, my rockstar?" Dad inquired.

"Hi Dad! Please don't embarrass us." I smiled at him still thinking if he heard us.

My dad was one gem of a person, rarely found. A business tycoon who always had something running on his mind. There wasn't a single minute when he was not working. The glare in his eyes was one reasons for me being so ambitious. He was my idol, my role model. The most intelligent, cool and daring man I've ever met. Every time I had a moment in my life that had confused me, my dad would have an answer to it. The best part was that he always had time for me despite of him being such a busy person.

"Are you two having fun?" He came up with his usual comment. He always had a knack of teasing Ira and me whether or not we are doing anything. 

And I replied with my usual, a bit manipulated though, "Yeah! dad, what's better than having fun in a hospital. It has always been my fantasy."

"Just keep the sheets clean Rocky." He bursted out making Ira uncomfortable.

Even though dad had a notion that Ira and I had experimented with our sexuality together, he wasn't too sure. So, he'd tease us so that he could get some juice out of it but his coccus attempts always go in vain.

Dad walked up to Ira, "How are you sweetheart?"

"Good as always uncle, how are you?" Ira hugged and gave a peck on my dad's cheek.

It was something she always did and I had always adored. These two people showing love to each other. Even though dad used to tease Ira and me on our face, Ira knew he had a clean heart and have always respected him for being himself and not a phony. The moment these two hug each other has always been mesmerizing and serene for me. It was magical because it was pure and had no deceit involved.

Dad came up to me, opened up my still-black-eye with his hand, "This should take another week I guess, how are rest of the things? I've been visiting consistently but you just didn't want to wake up. I guess your friend has more powerful connection with you than I do. So, here we are."

"All is fine dad."

"Your dad has been worried Abhay. Everyone attached to you have been." She scornfully gazed at me.

"Ok enough, I am alive. Don't make me feel as if I have resurrected."

All three of us started laughing in unison.

Dad took a deep breath and held me by my shoulders, "You'll be fine rockstar. You're my boy."

"I'm sorry dad. Never ever..." My words made him turn his steps, he stopped as if he would turn around and say something to me but then walked out of the room. I could see his eyes reddened. It was the first time I had seen him in such a state. I realized I had seriously made an obnoxious mistake.

I looked towards Ira, she whispered, "I told you."

I was sad. Ira left the room knowing that I needed a time out. She always used to leave me alone in my desperate times for she knew that I required solitude to get over the dingy feelings. She also knew that if there would be anything still bothering me she would be the first person to be conversant. Such was our friendship.

Dad had startled me and doubled my concerns. I was already thinking about Ira and now dad being sad. I just could not take it. There were two things attached to it - 

A. I cannot discuss Ira with Ira.

B. I had seen dad sad, for the first time in my life, and only I had to change it.

I had to make a decision.

3 hours and 37 minutes later, I finally decided what to do about it.

Urge - Part 1

"Why were you looking at her?" He questioned me furiously.

"I wasn't looking at her man, I swear to God!" I rebuked.

"Oh, Ok. In that case, I am really sorry." He apologized and started to return to his girlfriend (or perhaps may be wife.)

"To be honest, I was looking at her ass, nice cute rounds." I winked at him, cunningly.

Bam!!!

A punch, right across my face that is all I remember of that day. Next, when I opened up my eyes was in a hospital ward with a glucose drip pinned on my arm.

I did remember arguing to the fat guy(most intimidating biceps I ever saw), that I was born with two eyes and I have a right to perceive things and enjoy the delicacies of life and nature. And yes, he did try to hit me back but I was later on told that I went unconscious right after the punch and the guy was pulled over by security, a hell of a dream. The guy dropped by two days back to apologize but I was asleep.

"Wait, what? Two days?" I went startled, "I've been unconscious for two days?"

"Three days...", looking at her watch, "...and 8 hours, to be specific." Ira, my most loving friend, replied (friend indeed, not girlfriend as you may think.)

"3 and almost a half day? I am surely not that weak. You know that Ira." I took the support of our subtle intimate coalescences.

"Of course not.." She smiled and winked at me.

"...You had shed too much blood. The bleeding must have caused weakness in your body and on top of that, all this morphine and antibiotics. Docs had a notion that you might sleep for another 2 days."

"Are you kidding me? Huh!" I obnoxiously questioned her.

However, to my dismay, she did not reply. It was altogether a different show of Ira's body language. She seemed uncomfortable.

I flee off my bed to her, my legs were numb and I limped. She ran towards me and held me..

"Don't...” she said in a disturbed voice.

"Why?" I questioned her before she could even finish her statement.

"The doctors said that you could go into coma..", tears started to roll off her face and I could feel the intensity of her concern.

'I am an asshole', I said to myself watching Ira shed tears. I know she didn't want to lose me, neither did I. We had something in our friendship. There was a bond we had developed over the span of our acquaintance and I did not realize that, for Ira, it had changed into love.

"I am sorry Ira." I murmured.

"You are the last person I'd want to lose in my life." She revolted and hugged me hard.

I could feel the warmth of her body and breath. Ira was a bomb and was an allure to anyone's eyes. My friends were jealous that I was friends with her and often pushed me to get into a relationship with her. She plunged her 32C into my chest and my hand automatically rolled over her buttocks as usual. Her embrace was strong and somewhere deep inside I did not want her to leave me at that moment.

However, I knew I did not love her and wanted a lot from my life. I wanted to be big and famous. I held her but in fear. Fear, that I might hurt her and it would be intentional for she hadn't disclosed her feelings for me but deep within I knew that she had fallen in love with me.

"I love you." I said not wanting to hurt her anymore. Trying to be responsible enough and willing to lead my life on the path she chooses for us.

"I love you too Abhay but you cannot just go into eve teasing other guys' girls. It's inappropriate." She managed out of my clutches and looked into my eyes.

"If you just wanna have sex, we can find someone for you but promise me you'll never do anything like this ever again." I started to think, 'What is she saying?' I could see her eyes questioning me, seeking an answer.

"What can I say Ira, I just did it for fun. Do you think I am that desperate?" I tried to sway her.

"I've been your only friend for 7 years now. I know you more than your parents do." She continued staring at me.

"No, it isn't like that. It's different, I've been kidding around all the time. You know that sweetie."

"Oh! Are you? I am so skeptical about that." She confronted me with the truth and I was baffled. I had nothing to say and was standing in front of her ashamed at myself, in despair.

"I am sorry." I blabbered.

"That's a nice way to apologize. You should be apologizing to yourself. Try and think what you really want to be in life. Don't throw your life away." She was going ballistic on me.

"I know what I want to do. Don't judge me..." I revolted, "...I don't want to be somebody's expectation and live my life at their expense." In a flash, I was back to square one. The ambitious Abhay.

"Abhay, I know you're very talented and smart. I adore you for that but I don't want you to die because of all your ruts. You need to grow up." Ira smartly caught hold of my Achilles' heel. "You're the only person I have whom I can deeply trust. At times, I ponder upon the question that I might lose you and that day would be the saddest in my life."

'Knock Knock...' 

एक आहट...

तनहाई में गुम है ऐसे,

की आहट भी कमज़ोर है॥

वो आए ज़रूर मेरी चौखट पर.

पर चंद लम्हों के लिए॥

सदियाँ बीत गयी पर आज भी,

इस दिल में उनकी धड़कनो का शोर है॥

नज़र कमबख्त हटती ही नहीं उनसे.

दिल इबादत, उन्ही का जोर है॥

रौंगटे हो जाते है खड़े,

जब भी होते उनसे रूबरू हम॥

इस दिल के कदम आज भी,

बढ़ते उन्ही की ओर है॥

इश्क तो किया ही हमने,

और दगा भी खायी॥

सन्नाटे भरी गहरी रातें

गिन-गिन उनकी यादों में जलाईं॥

ऐसी चोट खायी ही हमने,

की रूह थरथराती है अब हमारी॥

दिल कांपता है इश्क करने से,

और लोग दिल-फेंक बुलाते है॥

जब मोहब्बत थी हमें उनसे,

हमने थी दुनिया भुलाई॥

आज भी उनकी याद में,

कितनी कड़वी लगे तनहाई॥

एक दौर था जब मुस्कुराते थे हम,

उन्ही के मुस्कुराने से॥

दर्द-ऐ-दिल हाल है मेरा,

आज उनके चले जाने से॥

काश ये दिल बयान कर पाता उस मोहब्बत को,

जो थी, और अब भी है॥

नज़रो में उनकी ज़ालिम है हम.

पर ज़ुल्म किया भी खुदपे है॥

Seeketh, Thou Findeth Her

She's the music,

she is the pain.

I wanna hold her hand,

and jump in the rain.

I dream of her,

all night and day.

Her curly hair,

my heart's her prey.

She's a rhyme,

she's a song.

I'll keep her in my arms,

all night long.

They say love is a game,

and I wanna gamble.

It's in the shine of your eyes,

that I'm entangled.

Quite possibly,

a day will come.

When you'll be here,

and we'll clung.

The songs I've sung,

are meant for you.

Baby its you,

for I love you.

Her golden skin,

and innocence.

Make her seem even beautiful,

natural evanescence.

I always see her back,

but she never turns around.

In that blue raincoat,

she makes my heart sink down.

To keep looking at her,

is my only dream.

She's the only one,

she's my final dream.

Scribbling Love

What do writers do?

Blabber, Blabber and Blabber more.

Well actually,

They Scribble, Scribble and Scribble more.

So, this night brings me to more scribbling and blabbering. I will write more shit and continue to write it until death separates me from writing. Well, that simply means you'll have to bear me and my hogwash for the rest of my life and possibly yours as well. Tonight, I am not going to talk about love, I am not going to talk about God and I am not at all going to talk about success or failure.

I will keep it plain and simple.

Well, not exactly my style. ;-)

Love, as we call it. Isn't it crucifying? We keep on thinking about love, long for it and keep waiting for it to happen. What a strange four letter word that plays with our testosterone and estrogen, makes us go weak in our knees and feel butterflies in our stomach. Is it love? Or is it just a psychological disruption? I second my second thought. Psychological it seems to me, after that I have been in love, undergone a heartbreak, fallen in love again and again... and again. It just doesn't stop and it never happened that I was ever in love with two women at a particular point of time. Well, I am no prerogative for having falling in love over and again. I just have a psychological belief that love exists and I keep on expecting to receive it. I see someone, talk to her and in a blink of eye I know that she can be the one or not. I, then, turn my pursuits on and approach. Now I don’t know if that is love or not. However, that is.

When I can strenuously and consistently believe in the existence of God, how can I not believe in love with the same passion? People say love is about understanding each other. I question, if love is all about understanding each other then what is compromising? Isn't understanding the other person's will and suppressing your own, compromising? She likes coffee and I like tea but I am having coffee just because she likes it, is a compromise. Where as love is when he/she prepares a cup of coffee and tea, and they have it together. Well, this stands as a very understated example of a subject that has a much wider scope. A similar example cannot hold good in case of buying a car or perhaps something else.

When you fall in love with a girl, at first she says - "I just want you to love me all my life." And then -

'I want that dress.', 'I want to meet your family.', 'I want to marry you.','I want the TV remote.', 'I want kids.', 'I want a house.', a new car...and on and on and on ...

Then she finally says (something that I call confessing) - 'I want a life.'

Horrid no? People call it a crazy sweet little thing called love.

If I have to summarize love, it would take me a lot more than just a few words and it would take me really, really long to express it. However, I will summarize love in some ugly true words.

Love is - Compromising with yourself for someone else. It is living for the other person and doing what he/she wants. Love is suppressing your own feelings for others. Love is essential. Like I said, love is, strange and crucifying.

They say love is surreal. Love is, but we make it surreal.

Walking

Tired from not working at office while I was headed to home, I just twitched towards the cafeteria to have some orange juice. I could not believe on what my eye balls were perceiving. She was sitting all alone, having her lunch at around 4 pm. When I saw her, my heart struck 12 and started smiling. She looked lovely, like always. Her hair was falling on her face making her look innocent as ever, as she chewed the food between her molars.

I fell in love with her once again.

She is so pretty. Not that I haven’t seen prettier faces but there’s something different about her. It’s always something different about them, the one we love.

The second thought that came into my mind was-

Today’s my day, let’s talk to her.

I went to the food counter and quickly juggled coins and notes at the billing counter and ordered a glass of juice. While I was waiting for my order to be served, my only hope was that she stays.

And she did! I took my glass of juice and carried it along with all my guts to her table. She was busy on phone, talking to someone in her family. I kept my bag on the chair adjacent to the seat opposite to hers. She was so aloof talking over phone that she didn’t even notice. While I was sitting on the chair, she noticed me. I could totally read her expression-

‘What the hell?’

I gave a stupid smile back at her.

Though I distracted her from talking over the phone, I couldn’t manage to gain her precious attention. I kept on looking at her, adoring her beauty and innocence. I could feel her going nervous, she totally succumbed to it. I sat quietly in front of her for I really enjoyed it. Feeling and watching her right in front of me instilled me with joy. The feeling was exulting and I couldn’t stop smiling.

Some two minutes later, she took a pause in her conversation and uttered words to me-

“Anything you want?”

I smiled at her. She smiled back at me and I nodded in affirmation.

“What?” She asked me smiling.

“Get done with the phone then we’ll talk” I replied.

She continued talking over phone and I continued smiling.
There were two very obvious reasons –

One, I was sitting right next to her. Second, I got her most desired attention.

Happy hands of the clock were moving while I was waiting for her to get off of the phone. Just then, two ugly souls (not that they were ugly) from our batch came in. Their jaws fell right down on the ground and their eyes popped out watching me seated right in front of THE girl.

That was the moment when my head swerved and I felt like walking away. I help my head down and supported it by my hand. I told myself –

‘Today isn’t the day when you’d get to talk to her.’

Those two imminent, stupid souls couldn’t sense that when two people who walk in two different directions (she away from me and I towards her) are sitting together then there must be a special occasion. However, they had to come and sit on the same table we were sitting. Utter disgrace.

She turned around & looked at the two of them. I could so read her expression once again–

‘Eureka! God is there.’

I didn’t move from my chair hoping that the two most unwanted people, at that moment, would walk away.

But they didn’t. I tried the trick of giving them ugly looks as well, it failed.

After a while, she got off her phone but the minions didn't move. My eyes were glued on the LCD behind, as I had presumed. Though, I was looking at her from the corner of my eyes (something guys generally don't do). She waited for me to turn around, I didn't.

Then after some pateint moments, she asked me-
"Yes! Tell me, you have some work from me?"

I nodded positive again and told her, "You talk to them (the minions) then we'll talk."

"I'm done talking to them, we'll leave together."

My heart thumped and I said, "Fine, will talk to you some other time."

She stood up and walked away. I kept on looking at her and she faded while walking. I turned around towards the table and saw my half filled glass lying. I grabbed and gulped the juice down my throat, stood up, carried my bag and walked out thinking that the glass is half filled and so is life. There aren't much chances in life but they do come around.


P.S: Long post after a long time, straight from my heart.

How Much I Love

I wish I could just melt your heart,
and make you love me.

Dreaming about you in the lonely night,
makes me so happy.

Holding your hand for the first time,
Oh! that anxious moment.

It tickled me all over,
just the brush of your hair.

The waiting for you to come down,
when time ticked off quickly.

Loving you is I can't stop,
Yes, am mad about you.

The way you walk,
and sit and talk.

My breath's held,
for the deepest sigh.

The transition,
happened so quickly.

From just another girl I met,
to the one for me.

I wish we were in school together,
I would have glanced at you from the corner seat.

Would have given you candies all day,
chewing them you'd have stained your shirt.

Sitting beside you,
and caressing your hair.

Then you'd have known,
how much I love.

It's just for you,
It's only love.

Lucky Books, Kinky Looks.

It was October of 2009. In the middle of autumn, this incident happened. It wasn't the intention that I would some day write about it but I guess it was inevitable. The story starts with a cute girl. Yes, there’s always a cute girl behind every mystery. So there was this girl I met, her name was Zee.

No, she wasn’t Chinese or Japanese. She was Indian, pure hearted and beautiful. Meeting her was another mystery in itself. We met at a bookstore while browsing for books that were unprocurable in the store. While we were waiting for the manager to narrate us when can we find the book? We looked at each other.

Some minutes later he arrived and announced,

“Sir, the book is out of stock…”

‘Like I don’t know, you idiot!’, I thought

“…we will try to make it available to you ASAP.” the manager continued.

I was looking at her, wondering the secret of her gleaming beauty. I staked a 100Rs on Lux.

“Sir, the book will be at most available by next week.” He repeated.

I juggled with the magazines in my hand and uttered, “Oh! …”

Then I pored my thoughts and continued, “Oh Fuck! I can’t wait for that book.”

“Sir, I am really sorry.” said the apologetic manager.

‘As if you ate the book’ I frowned at the manager.

Now the manager turned towards this girl and enunciated, “Sorry mam but you too will have to wait till next week.”

“Actually you two are looking for the same book that is out of stock.” He told us.

I felt as if somebody had injected energy straight up my Ass.

My eyes popped out, I was flabbergasted. I lifted my face to look at her again.

She gave me her most uncanny expression. That was when I closed my mouth and smiled. Now I must tell you about my smile. It’s awesome. When I smile, all my muscles act accordingly and stretch themselves with all the power they have to make the most beautiful smile in the world. :-)

But then she smiled. I couldn’t help but open my mouth again. I was literally gaping at her. I was wrong; she had the most beautiful smile in the world. It was scintillating. That's when I noticed her teeth. I staked another 100Rs on Close up this time.

“Isn’t it….”

She turned around when I was about to make a statement.

I quickly ran upto her and said, “Hi”

“Hi” she replied.

“Isn’t it a sweet coincidence that we both are looking for the same book?” I took my chance.

“Yes! And it gave you a chance to flirt, isn’t it?” She looked at me with one eye brow up.

“Uh…heh...umm...” I blabbered.

“So what do you do?” she asked me.

“umm..I am a final year student.” I said.

“And you study?”

“Engineering. What do you do?” I asked keeping my calm.

“You sound as if no girl wants to talk to you. I am sure you must be single.”

“I am. But you din’t tell me what do u do?”

“See I knew it. I am a class XIth student, Lakshya School.”

She belonged to the best girl’s school in the city. I took two Cadbury’s Shots from my pocket and offered one to her.

“Beta, Mann mein laddu foota?” She smiled.

“No...Hoh...umm...I…” I blabbered again.

She laughed and took Cadbury’s from me. I was lost in her laughter.

I knew from the very first moment that she was different. She actually was different.

She took out a cellphone from her king sized black purse and dialed a number,

“Rajesh, get the car.”

“Nice meeting you. Bye Bye.” She said to me, turned and swayed.

I again ran upto her and stopped her. When I saw her face I knew I was about to get the most sarcastic reply to anything I say. So instead of attempting to make a conversation I smiled and said,

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She said with a smile and retreated.

You must have already guessed how hard the week would have been for me but that wasn’t it. The harder part was that I didn't know if she was going to turn up next week. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I literally prayed to god with all my heart. While praying I opened up my eyes at least thrice just in order to check if God cared to perfect my sight after hearing my prayers. It was a cinematic experience for me and something really cinematic happened next week. Yes, you guessed it right she turned up on that day (and in case you couldn’t guess, you’re too dumb to continue reading). She was standing two shelves away from the entrance browsing some books. I felt as if she was waiting for me. I approached her.

“Hi!” with more confidence I said this time.

“Hi!” she replied with a smile.

Just before I could say anything, the stupid manager came along with a bag.

“Here’s your book ma’am, anything else I can do for you?” The manager handed the bag over.

He then looked at me and continued, “Oh Sir, we have your book now. Should I zip one for you too?”

I gave a frowning smile (don’t ask me about it, it’s something that I do when I am pissed off) to the manager and nodded. Then I turned towards her and looked at her with my best smile on(yes, the same best smile that was second best in the world now).

I got the same weird expression from her.

“I got to go now. Nice meeting you once again...?" she said.

“Arsh, What can I call you?” I made the best use of the opportunity I had this time.

“Zee.” She replied.

I blinked my eyes and checked her out once again and said

“You are Zee?”

“Yes, Zeeyana but I like to be called Zee.” She said and looked at me as if it was a warning for me.

“Ok, Zee and what does your real name mean exactly?” I enquired.

“It means bold.”

“Aah! I know that.” saying I smiled.

“My driver will not be back before 2, I will have to wait now. Shit!” She murmured to herself but I guess girls do this thing quite intentionally. They do it because they want us, guys, to hear to their problems and find an absolute solution to them and so,

“You can read more books or window shop here, no big deal.” I suggested.

“No! I want some coffee. Do you wanna sit at Costa?” she asked me.

I had an adrenaline rush through my body. Two weaknesses, first was coffee and second Zee (yes I fell for her by now), I couldn’t resist the tempting offer.

“Yes, who in the world would say no to coffee?” I accepted the offer.

We went to the Costa, had a few cups of coffee while waiting for her driver to return. Over coffee I realised that Zee was the only child in her family and her father owned car business and so I realised that not only she is pretty, intelligent but she does belong to quite a rich family.

When the bill arrived, I was summing up the coins I had in my pocket. The only thing I wondered was it would be a shame if I am unable to pay the bill. Only when I was iquiring myself about how am I going to pay off the bill, Zee snapped it away. I tried to catch hold of it but couldn’t.

“C’mon you are not paying the bill.” I insisted.

“Oh! But I invited you here, so let me…”

“Sure but next time.” I interruped Zee

“Next time?” Zee enquired with her patent one eye brow up expression.

I was flabbergasted, wondering what to say. Suddenly she started laughing and started scribbing on the bill we received.

“LOL! You are so cute. Don’t worry I was just kidding, here’s my number.” She couldn’t stop laughing and I was drowning in the sea of her overwhelmed emotion.

I was at the same time embarrassed and happy. Embarrassed because I should have paid the bill, happy because she called me cute(whenever a girl calls you cute, it means she likes you).

15 minutes thence Rajesh arrived and we both bade adieu to each other. If you are thinking who paid the bill, I must tell you she did.

3 days later, I picked up the bill that had Zee’s number scribbled on it and took the courage to dial.

At first I dialed the number but hung up without it rang. I thought she had given me the number on her own, I shouldn’t be scared to talk to her. I dialed the number.

A few seconds later I heard a computerised voice from the other end,

**The number you have dialed does not exist. Please check the number and dial again.***

I thought may be I dialed a wrong number, so I dialed again but got the same response. I kept dialing the same number again and again but there wasn’t any alter in response. I was appalled and had no idea what to do. Just when I looked at the clock. It was 1.30 PM, Lakshya’s classes are scheduled till 2PM. I don’t know what struck my mind but I quickly caught hold of my bike and flew to school. I tried to find Zee but couldn’t. I enquired about her but got no positive response. One girl who wore a yellow badge that said ‘CAPTAIN’ said there is no girl by the name of Zeeyana in school. The diwali vacations had started in school and students were firing crackers. Each time a cracker was fired, I heard two bursting sounds. One was that of the cracker, the other my heart’s.

I tried to find her in the city but couldn't, went to the car showroom she aforesaid to be her dad’s and found that the owner was a 70 year old man whose wife died 10 years back and had no child.

It’s been 17 years, I’m married and I still own that bill. I even pray at times that I get to see her once again in my life. Costa no more exists so I go to nearby coffee shops hoping one day Zee would come and sit next to me and I will be able to hear her laugh once again.

Disclaimer:All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.