Scribbling Love

What do writers do?

Blabber, Blabber and Blabber more.

Well actually,

They Scribble, Scribble and Scribble more.

So, this night brings me to more scribbling and blabbering. I will write more shit and continue to write it until death separates me from writing. Well, that simply means you'll have to bear me and my hogwash for the rest of my life and possibly yours as well. Tonight, I am not going to talk about love, I am not going to talk about God and I am not at all going to talk about success or failure.

I will keep it plain and simple.

Well, not exactly my style. ;-)

Love, as we call it. Isn't it crucifying? We keep on thinking about love, long for it and keep waiting for it to happen. What a strange four letter word that plays with our testosterone and estrogen, makes us go weak in our knees and feel butterflies in our stomach. Is it love? Or is it just a psychological disruption? I second my second thought. Psychological it seems to me, after that I have been in love, undergone a heartbreak, fallen in love again and again... and again. It just doesn't stop and it never happened that I was ever in love with two women at a particular point of time. Well, I am no prerogative for having falling in love over and again. I just have a psychological belief that love exists and I keep on expecting to receive it. I see someone, talk to her and in a blink of eye I know that she can be the one or not. I, then, turn my pursuits on and approach. Now I don’t know if that is love or not. However, that is.

When I can strenuously and consistently believe in the existence of God, how can I not believe in love with the same passion? People say love is about understanding each other. I question, if love is all about understanding each other then what is compromising? Isn't understanding the other person's will and suppressing your own, compromising? She likes coffee and I like tea but I am having coffee just because she likes it, is a compromise. Where as love is when he/she prepares a cup of coffee and tea, and they have it together. Well, this stands as a very understated example of a subject that has a much wider scope. A similar example cannot hold good in case of buying a car or perhaps something else.

When you fall in love with a girl, at first she says - "I just want you to love me all my life." And then -

'I want that dress.', 'I want to meet your family.', 'I want to marry you.','I want the TV remote.', 'I want kids.', 'I want a house.', a new car...and on and on and on ...

Then she finally says (something that I call confessing) - 'I want a life.'

Horrid no? People call it a crazy sweet little thing called love.

If I have to summarize love, it would take me a lot more than just a few words and it would take me really, really long to express it. However, I will summarize love in some ugly true words.

Love is - Compromising with yourself for someone else. It is living for the other person and doing what he/she wants. Love is suppressing your own feelings for others. Love is essential. Like I said, love is, strange and crucifying.

They say love is surreal. Love is, but we make it surreal.

The FB Love Story

It started when I had seen you,
I was a little afraid and you were a little shy.

The next morning I woke up,
I thought it was a dream, a wry.

But when I saw you again,
I was flabbergasted.

I was still thinking and numb,
but it did, it lasted.

You were a reality,you were true.
I kept looking at you. You, you.

Baby I fell in love with you and I didn't know,
I wanted to take control, I wanted to be slow.

My steady steps, moved towards you.
I stopped, looked around, thought I'd facebook you.

I sent you a message first and waited for your reply,
And when I got it, I shouted "Aye! Aye!"

Your legs were lovely, that tattooed skin.
The sand gleamed, it looked akin.

That photoshopped picture, it looked lovely.
but could have managed the contrast.

I know that's a party picture,
I hope you had a blast.

Baby I fell in love with you,
There, right there.

Ok let me be frank with you,
It was your hair.

I tried slow, but couldn't control.
I stumbled, I crawled.

My mind boggled,
My thoughts brawled.

Next I clicked on your photo album link,
saw your lovely pictures, I blinked.

Joy, joy and joy.
I said, "Oh! You forgot to reply boy."

I waited for the next notification, thought it was yours.
My boss had facebooked me, "Have you done all chores?"

I said, "what the fuck Boss, why are you alive?"
The next notification and my boss survives.

I thought the dream was coming true,
No! the truth was becoming a dream.

I took the next step,
Damn! I stepped on my shaving cream.

We talked for a while, and I liked your status messages,
I liked your likes, the comments, the pages.

I poked your friend one day,
and then the problem began.

OK, I'm gonna cut it short,
We fought, your feelings ran

You ignored me, I tried.
Didn't want to hear me, my heart fried

Now I'm hurt and I'm walking away.
My eyes, my tears, away they pray.

You signed out from the chat,
I kept refreshing your profile.

I thought I wouldn't say,
Will go away for a while.

But you didn't come back baby.
I cried, I cried.

So I removed you from my friend list,
Why did I have to try?

You'll wake up in the morning and I'll not be there.
Baby I'm gone, So long !!

Fighting with the Conscience...

It's not difficult to talk to one's self. It is not hard to find answers to many of our questions. We compare, discriminate and make an order of things that are pocket-sized. Fairly the order goes wrong, we fail and we tend to circumscribe our life up to where the things have been working fine. We ask ourselves questions, things start to bother us but do we really think upon the fact that life is not asking us for what we are giving it. It's difficult to fight with one's conscience and break into the young possibilities of expanding one's area of understanding through innovation and thinking, it is beyond concept but it is not that hard to learn from the mistakes that one has already made. Simple things in life makes life simple and unification of the thoughts in association with the moral, integral and significant values of life may make it even simpler.

Standing on top of a building may instill a person with fear and at the same time it might impregnate one with a feeling of power, courage and independence. One has to abduct a burn in order to feel what a flame can do to him, for a flame is calm and composed. A flame does not tell you the harm that it can cause you. It is powerless and mighty. The experiences are endless and the possibilities limitless. The betterment of one's soul and thoughts is directly proportional to the gratuity he pays to himself in the form of self indulgence. A man can only compensate for his duly or unduly transgressions by an act of self analysis. Self analysis is necessary to advance the impasse, a comma in the life. Comma because it's ephemeral and it will pass depending upon one's choice of actions. Life is all about the choices that we make. We make the correct choices according to ourselves but sometimes our choices just do not tend to suit the environment. The redemption is easy, the course harsh and the basic necessity is the self actuation. Just like the old cliche that says "we have to hold our spoons in order to eat the food", we will have to make an effort, push ourselves and attain a state of bliss. For a person shall get what he truly deserves.

Knowingly or unknowingly we make mistakes in life and pay for them. It's similar to the fact that we go to a restaurant order the food which on being served tastes awful and we still pay the bill but that doesn't stops us from going munching at some other joint. Life's experiences are quite alike, we just have to make sure that we do not tread the path we have once already suffered going onto. The destination must not change, but the path should. When a kid is born no one tells him that life would be easy. Failing is not the end, it is just another step up the ladder. It takes in a lot of courage to experience a failure. What is more courageous and dexterous is to double your possibilities after experiencing a failure.

Desires...

I was just sitting a while ago when I realised that I made a blog yesterday and i promised myself that I will be maintaining the blog this time.

Then I thought, What will i write there...Right now I don't have anything to write..

Just then a thought came into my mind, "Desires".

Suddenly I realised that I have so much to write about.

I quickly put my thinking cap on and started cerebrating and I asked myself.

What are Desires?

What are they?

Where do they come from?

Why do they influence our life so much?

Why is it that Desires never end?

As long these questions were arising in my mind, I quickly Googled (Yes, We all do it) the word "Desire" and the first result was

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desire_(emotion)

The God of Knowledge on the Internet displaying a play of his immense power and yet again captivating my heart. As I read ...

"Desire is a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome"

Right, but ain't this something we already know?

Desires, though Ephemeral (so now you understand why i named my blog) are yet so scintillating. A self-motivated person does so much to achieve what he desires. But in the realm of achieving his desire he forgets that what he longs for is just Ephemeral,Transient...It will not stay, as nothing is permanent in life. While a person slaves to accomplish his wants. he loses so much that he should have accumulated. Not necessarily is he going to achieve what he longs for, yet he learns so much in the process of trying. Trying is what gets a person going. Desires form priorities.

A want can be for anything be it Love, or Trucks of Money, or Passionate Sex, or Taking a Revenge, or A Great White Collar Job, or A House by the beach, It can be anything. A four year old might desire for a chocolate while a 25 year old would want to be a CEO someday. When a person achieves what he longs for, he is exhilarated but then new desires take over and he is on another mission.

Where do all these desires come from?

Well, the World is a park and everyday we walk through it. We see things, we hear things, we touch things and we Smell things, we perceive so much that what we see subdues our mind and body and produces Desires to attain them.

Why do they influence our life so much?

As the perception is so strong that once a desire is impregnated in the soul of a person, he becomes restless. The wants become a necessity. It has the power to transform people.

As life is a cycle, I believe desires also form a cycle. This cycle is of never ending desires. It's not about how we will achieve those desires but In the end what matters is that happiness what we achieve with that we desired.