Looking at the serene beauty of the mountain, I wanted to be there, at it. In a flash, I was in between the two mountains. It didn't take much time for the train to complete the half circle and take me to heaven. I felt prerogative, though the train was cruising along its usual route.
As the sunbeam fell on the brown mountain rocks, it twinkled a brownish radiance as if it was trying to seduce it audience with the chocolate. At least I am the one who was. Experiencing such a scene was a beauty in itself. Moving under the shadow of one mountain and watching the sunlight fall on another. It seemed like the nexus of two worlds. I felt disparaged, thinking why am I not a mountain or a cloud or perhaps a river. For the first time in life, I felt ugly.
Looking at things from a far distance might make them look good or bad, sometimes even beautiful but the ultimate beauty lies within, inside the heart of it, in its soul and its nucleus. Nobody wants to feel ugly. You may feel beautiful or ugly, it's totally upto you. You'll feel whatever you want to, no matter what other people say. If you think you're beautiful, you're the most beautiful thing in the world.
Now that I am going far away from the mountains, I see them smiling at me, as if they know about the beauty they contain in themselves. I felt as if they were watching me and telling me -
"We need not be remarked."
Right after these series of events, I wanted to relive the moments passing by, so I just kept on mesmerising the moments and went on to take a nap.
P.S: I wrote this back when I was traveling from Bangalore to Lucknow. I just felt ecstatic at that time and words poured out from my heart. I found it today in a writing pad, so here I am drafting it.
P.S: I could totally feel it all over again while re-writing.
Showing posts with label train. Show all posts
Showing posts with label train. Show all posts
Monday, March 21, 2011
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Another day on train...
"Be responsible"
I had almost missed my train, thanks to the traffic and i didnt miss my train at all, thanks to poor Indian railway system. We all know how punctual our trains are and how they never get late. However, it was their same habit that saved my ass tonight. As I entered the coach all eyes were glued on me. I looked up in the mirror that had a hazy reflection and one could barely recognise himself in that, I found out that not only i was perspiring as if i was stranded in a desert but my clothes were wet as if I had just taken a bath. I took possession over myself and looked at my berth- S2/19 , thanks to a friend who got my 165 waiting confirmed, courtesy his dad. A guy barely 26 was already sleeping there. I took a deep breath and cerebrated that i will have to do this as well, get him out of my bed for the night. I patted his shoulder to wake him up.
"Is someone there?" Shashank asked me from outside the train.
I nodded in affirmation and looked at the guy again. He acted as if someone had waken him up from a solid sleep, I said to myself,
'Yeah, this is the initiating point of the train, it just got here 30 minutes ago and you are already in such a sedative sleep.'
"This is my berth." I said to him.
He behaved as if I was being humorous. I repeated my words again.
"Can I share the berth with you?" he asked me with eyes full of hope.
"Sorry?" I felt like I have been travelling without a ticket.
"Can I sit while you sleep?" he questioned me again.
"I have quite a luggage with me dude, Sorry but I don't think I can help you." I replied with a straight face.
He left my berth with despair. Looking him in despair I wondered why God put us in situations where he have to deject people sometimes. May be he tests our will from time to time. I certainly didn't win a point there but it wasn't my fault as well. I had so much luggage with me that I had to some bags on my berth. Seeing his dejection I only hoped he gets a seat to survive the night.
The second lesson I learnt on the same trip was-
"Learn to compromise"
The lights were out by half past twelve, normally my time to start watching a movie but i was tired like a cow who had worked all day in the sun. After all that running my dad,shashank and I did with seven bags in our hand, it did feel as if we were running a weight marathon. I was for sure tired as hell. As I closed my eyes, I wished that a masseur comes and gives me a soothing massage that would make me as fresh as spring water. Suddenly I started brushing my feet on the steel net next to my berth. I felt the acupressure working. The pain started to sublime off my body. I continued the process for next 5 minutes, I felt relaxed.
So these were the two lessons that I learnt on my first journey after Engineering. The learning doesn't stop throughout our life. There are events in our life that makes us complete and that makes us truly. This was one of those incidents that are really special and make my life meaningful.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentino Death
You must be wondering why such a horrid title on such an exquisite day, a day when all the people around the world are celebrating love, sharing it and spreading it all over.
My name is Bill and it started about three and a half years ago. Yes, I fell in love too, three and a half years in the past from now. There was this girl named Tashi (it’s a combination of her two different names).
Falling in love with her was a strange coincidence. Love is indeed strange. The first time I met her was at her place with my friends. I had been to VaishnoDevi and she had asked me for offerings to god. I did exactly the same and went to her place to give her the prasad. When she came out, I was mesmerized with her beauty. Her hair was unbraided and to me she seemed like a mermaid in her yellow top. On my way to college, my friends kept on asking about her. I hushed them.
Things just fell in place then and in a knack of time of knowing each other we were together in a relationship. She was my first love and the feeling, Surreal. The strangest and the coolest thing in our relationship was that we never dated out, except for a couple of times. I always used to visit her place and meet her there itself. I was happy that I could see her so I didn't mind it at all. Since she was studying in an engineering college outside the city, I used to visit her place only when she was in town.
One fine day she complained to me, "You never give me flowers?"
A few days later when I met her I gave her a bunch of roses. She was exulted and I was happy to see her beaming.
We went through such wonderful experiences in life. I went out of touch with my friends, not because I didn't want to talk to them but since I was glued to the fact that Tashi was the most amazing part of my life. I was so lost in the awe of her presence that I lost touch with all my friends. Life was on a roller-coaster ride and months lapsed. Not every couple is perfect and so weren't Tashi and I. We started on fighting, from petty issues to bigger ones. I never imagined that she would leave me, for I believed so much in her love that it never did let me, even to think about us falling apart. We went through breakups umpteen number of times but I always knew that we wouldn't stay apart for long. We always used to fight, stopped talking to each other and eventually after a few days of discontent, were together again. This brought me even more closely to her and made my love for her even stronger. I got addicted to Tashi and by now she was my drug.
A year had passed; my university exams approached and shook me from Tashi's exotic fragrance and the most pious feeling of love. But it wasn't enough; I appeared in the examination with least preparation. I was immature, stupe and in love. I was in Delhi when my results were about to be declared. Even Tashi and I were going through a rough patch. I had been to Delhi to redeem a gift that my sister had won in an MTV contest, a fully paid trip to Dhanaulti, a place near Hrishikesh. On the eve of the start of my trip, my results were declared and eventually I flunked. I was broken, discouraged. I immediately called up my dad to tell him what blunder I had committed. Instead of scolding me, he told me not to worry about it and rather asked me if I still wanted to carry on with the trip. I could not; I just could not, I knew I didn't deserve it, so I dropped the plan. The second call that I made was to Tashi, for she was the most important person in my life after my family. I told her that I could not clear the examinations. At first, she couldn't believe me but my damped voice assured her of the fact. She reminded me that she had already warned me about it, and then she asked for my plans. I didn't have any clue as I did not know. After talking to her for another two minutes I hung up the phone. I couldn't look into my sister's eyes.
One day later I decided to come back to Lucknow. I told my sister that I would catch a train from New Delhi station, but went to Ghaziabad since Tashi's college was close to the city. I went straight up to her; due to depression I had already caught fever and was being asphyxiated. She took me to the coffee bar and I got a cup of coffee there but couldn't drink it. She told me she would not talk to me for next six months. I ascertained her that what had happened will not happen in the future. But I guess she had already decided. A few days hence after I reached Lucknow, Tashi broke up with me. I broke apart, wanting to cry but was deprived of tears and in pain. For next fifteen days I was in bed, down with fever. I had gained a feeling that this was for real but still I didn't give up pleasing her. Again and Again, I tried to convince her to come back to me, but fate had ordained and her will prevailed. My mermaid left me and went back into the sea.
I kept on looking for one way or the other to get her back. I bought her gifts (which I never did before) and when I did that, she questioned me
"Why now? You never gave me gifts when we were together."
"I never thought you would leave. I have spent all the money that I had, Please come back." I looked at her expecting her to forgive me.
She took my gifts but didn't accede to get back in a relationship with me. I couldn't help thinking about her. Months later I came to know that she is in a relationship with some Punjabi boy in her college whom, her classmates believed looked like me. I felt betrayed and cheated. I said all the mean and horrendous things to her that I could. Certain horrid things, which could make anyone, feel disgusted. I went through the trauma and succumbed myself into studies. I scored 15% more than my last year's percentage. My family was happy about it, especially Dad.
I decided to move on in life then. By fall of next year I met another girl in my college. She was going through the same phase that I had already been through a year ago. We went into a relationship but I couldn't give my love to her. It was due to her that I could understand Tashi now. I decided to be friends with Tashi and contacted her. Besides, I left the other girl in my college broken apart and I feel sorry for what I did to her.
It is me now after going through so much and doing all the good and bad things together, sitting here in my room and enjoying my singleness. I just wished Tashi a "HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY" and she told me how she relished the valentine's eve with the love of her life. I'm happy to see her happy in whatever way she is and delighted to know that she still has someone to give her love to.
For me, this is the Death of Valentine as I'm sitting here all alone with no date for today. Just to mention,
I am alone but not lonely.
P.S. I LOVE YOU :-)
P.S. Sorry for the long post, I just kept on writing and didn't realize it.
My name is Bill and it started about three and a half years ago. Yes, I fell in love too, three and a half years in the past from now. There was this girl named Tashi (it’s a combination of her two different names).
Falling in love with her was a strange coincidence. Love is indeed strange. The first time I met her was at her place with my friends. I had been to VaishnoDevi and she had asked me for offerings to god. I did exactly the same and went to her place to give her the prasad. When she came out, I was mesmerized with her beauty. Her hair was unbraided and to me she seemed like a mermaid in her yellow top. On my way to college, my friends kept on asking about her. I hushed them.
Things just fell in place then and in a knack of time of knowing each other we were together in a relationship. She was my first love and the feeling, Surreal. The strangest and the coolest thing in our relationship was that we never dated out, except for a couple of times. I always used to visit her place and meet her there itself. I was happy that I could see her so I didn't mind it at all. Since she was studying in an engineering college outside the city, I used to visit her place only when she was in town.
One fine day she complained to me, "You never give me flowers?"
A few days later when I met her I gave her a bunch of roses. She was exulted and I was happy to see her beaming.
We went through such wonderful experiences in life. I went out of touch with my friends, not because I didn't want to talk to them but since I was glued to the fact that Tashi was the most amazing part of my life. I was so lost in the awe of her presence that I lost touch with all my friends. Life was on a roller-coaster ride and months lapsed. Not every couple is perfect and so weren't Tashi and I. We started on fighting, from petty issues to bigger ones. I never imagined that she would leave me, for I believed so much in her love that it never did let me, even to think about us falling apart. We went through breakups umpteen number of times but I always knew that we wouldn't stay apart for long. We always used to fight, stopped talking to each other and eventually after a few days of discontent, were together again. This brought me even more closely to her and made my love for her even stronger. I got addicted to Tashi and by now she was my drug.
A year had passed; my university exams approached and shook me from Tashi's exotic fragrance and the most pious feeling of love. But it wasn't enough; I appeared in the examination with least preparation. I was immature, stupe and in love. I was in Delhi when my results were about to be declared. Even Tashi and I were going through a rough patch. I had been to Delhi to redeem a gift that my sister had won in an MTV contest, a fully paid trip to Dhanaulti, a place near Hrishikesh. On the eve of the start of my trip, my results were declared and eventually I flunked. I was broken, discouraged. I immediately called up my dad to tell him what blunder I had committed. Instead of scolding me, he told me not to worry about it and rather asked me if I still wanted to carry on with the trip. I could not; I just could not, I knew I didn't deserve it, so I dropped the plan. The second call that I made was to Tashi, for she was the most important person in my life after my family. I told her that I could not clear the examinations. At first, she couldn't believe me but my damped voice assured her of the fact. She reminded me that she had already warned me about it, and then she asked for my plans. I didn't have any clue as I did not know. After talking to her for another two minutes I hung up the phone. I couldn't look into my sister's eyes.
One day later I decided to come back to Lucknow. I told my sister that I would catch a train from New Delhi station, but went to Ghaziabad since Tashi's college was close to the city. I went straight up to her; due to depression I had already caught fever and was being asphyxiated. She took me to the coffee bar and I got a cup of coffee there but couldn't drink it. She told me she would not talk to me for next six months. I ascertained her that what had happened will not happen in the future. But I guess she had already decided. A few days hence after I reached Lucknow, Tashi broke up with me. I broke apart, wanting to cry but was deprived of tears and in pain. For next fifteen days I was in bed, down with fever. I had gained a feeling that this was for real but still I didn't give up pleasing her. Again and Again, I tried to convince her to come back to me, but fate had ordained and her will prevailed. My mermaid left me and went back into the sea.
I kept on looking for one way or the other to get her back. I bought her gifts (which I never did before) and when I did that, she questioned me
"Why now? You never gave me gifts when we were together."
"I never thought you would leave. I have spent all the money that I had, Please come back." I looked at her expecting her to forgive me.
She took my gifts but didn't accede to get back in a relationship with me. I couldn't help thinking about her. Months later I came to know that she is in a relationship with some Punjabi boy in her college whom, her classmates believed looked like me. I felt betrayed and cheated. I said all the mean and horrendous things to her that I could. Certain horrid things, which could make anyone, feel disgusted. I went through the trauma and succumbed myself into studies. I scored 15% more than my last year's percentage. My family was happy about it, especially Dad.
I decided to move on in life then. By fall of next year I met another girl in my college. She was going through the same phase that I had already been through a year ago. We went into a relationship but I couldn't give my love to her. It was due to her that I could understand Tashi now. I decided to be friends with Tashi and contacted her. Besides, I left the other girl in my college broken apart and I feel sorry for what I did to her.
It is me now after going through so much and doing all the good and bad things together, sitting here in my room and enjoying my singleness. I just wished Tashi a "HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY" and she told me how she relished the valentine's eve with the love of her life. I'm happy to see her happy in whatever way she is and delighted to know that she still has someone to give her love to.
For me, this is the Death of Valentine as I'm sitting here all alone with no date for today. Just to mention,
I am alone but not lonely.
P.S. I LOVE YOU :-)
P.S. Sorry for the long post, I just kept on writing and didn't realize it.
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