+ or -

Life is considered to be divided among different kinds of energies. Basically there are two-Positive and Negative. We are always told to concentrate on the positive energies. Often have we heard the "be positive" slogan throughout our lives. It's substantial and coherent for people, those who believe in it, to understand what it really is. However, its true gumption is not substantiated.

So, how do we differentiate energies from positive and negative?

How do we subtract bad from an assortment of good and bad?

Suppose a person who wants to buy a car but does not enough have money for it and is diffident. Now he'll attract positive feelings from a person who will encourage him that he'll be able to buy the car. Also, if he gets an increment he'll feel exulted because now his misery will end and his desire will be fulfilled. At the same time, another person who has the same dream and has enough money for it. It will not matter to him whether or not he gets a bonus because he is already in a state to buy a car.

Consider a Situation where a female rapist is assaulting a man. I know it's a bit unusual and funny but in this case if a policeman arrives at the place of incident. There will be a flow of both positive and negative energies in the air. There will be some serious course for positive energy in the man that is being assaulted where as the fear of being caught will instill the negatives in the woman.

So, the probability of an energy being positive or negative cannot be determined. One cannot say that doing this will bring positive energies towards you and hence you will attain quintessence. No, It wouldn't happen. A same situation might bring positives in some while the same incident might engross negatives into somebody else. Thus, the distinction of energies actually differs for person to person. No one can tell you exactly what is good or bad. It is you who has to decide whether a thing is good for you or is it bad for you. Different people have different sets of priorities in life and they live in different circumstances. To negate the negatives one has to think about the positives. However, it is very important to differentiate the positives from the negatives. Two situations might be good and bad for two different instances.

Remember the power is inside us and the choice is ours. It is us, the human beings who made the greatest of things in the world and the same human beings commit suicide and become a curse to life.

The choice is yours, what you want to be and the energies are inside you.

Lucky Books, Kinky Looks.

It was October of 2009. In the middle of autumn, this incident happened. It wasn't the intention that I would some day write about it but I guess it was inevitable. The story starts with a cute girl. Yes, there’s always a cute girl behind every mystery. So there was this girl I met, her name was Zee.

No, she wasn’t Chinese or Japanese. She was Indian, pure hearted and beautiful. Meeting her was another mystery in itself. We met at a bookstore while browsing for books that were unprocurable in the store. While we were waiting for the manager to narrate us when can we find the book? We looked at each other.

Some minutes later he arrived and announced,

“Sir, the book is out of stock…”

‘Like I don’t know, you idiot!’, I thought

“…we will try to make it available to you ASAP.” the manager continued.

I was looking at her, wondering the secret of her gleaming beauty. I staked a 100Rs on Lux.

“Sir, the book will be at most available by next week.” He repeated.

I juggled with the magazines in my hand and uttered, “Oh! …”

Then I pored my thoughts and continued, “Oh Fuck! I can’t wait for that book.”

“Sir, I am really sorry.” said the apologetic manager.

‘As if you ate the book’ I frowned at the manager.

Now the manager turned towards this girl and enunciated, “Sorry mam but you too will have to wait till next week.”

“Actually you two are looking for the same book that is out of stock.” He told us.

I felt as if somebody had injected energy straight up my Ass.

My eyes popped out, I was flabbergasted. I lifted my face to look at her again.

She gave me her most uncanny expression. That was when I closed my mouth and smiled. Now I must tell you about my smile. It’s awesome. When I smile, all my muscles act accordingly and stretch themselves with all the power they have to make the most beautiful smile in the world. :-)

But then she smiled. I couldn’t help but open my mouth again. I was literally gaping at her. I was wrong; she had the most beautiful smile in the world. It was scintillating. That's when I noticed her teeth. I staked another 100Rs on Close up this time.

“Isn’t it….”

She turned around when I was about to make a statement.

I quickly ran upto her and said, “Hi”

“Hi” she replied.

“Isn’t it a sweet coincidence that we both are looking for the same book?” I took my chance.

“Yes! And it gave you a chance to flirt, isn’t it?” She looked at me with one eye brow up.

“Uh…heh...umm...” I blabbered.

“So what do you do?” she asked me.

“umm..I am a final year student.” I said.

“And you study?”

“Engineering. What do you do?” I asked keeping my calm.

“You sound as if no girl wants to talk to you. I am sure you must be single.”

“I am. But you din’t tell me what do u do?”

“See I knew it. I am a class XIth student, Lakshya School.”

She belonged to the best girl’s school in the city. I took two Cadbury’s Shots from my pocket and offered one to her.

“Beta, Mann mein laddu foota?” She smiled.

“No...Hoh...umm...I…” I blabbered again.

She laughed and took Cadbury’s from me. I was lost in her laughter.

I knew from the very first moment that she was different. She actually was different.

She took out a cellphone from her king sized black purse and dialed a number,

“Rajesh, get the car.”

“Nice meeting you. Bye Bye.” She said to me, turned and swayed.

I again ran upto her and stopped her. When I saw her face I knew I was about to get the most sarcastic reply to anything I say. So instead of attempting to make a conversation I smiled and said,

“Bye.”

“Bye.” She said with a smile and retreated.

You must have already guessed how hard the week would have been for me but that wasn’t it. The harder part was that I didn't know if she was going to turn up next week. For the first time in my 21 years of life, I literally prayed to god with all my heart. While praying I opened up my eyes at least thrice just in order to check if God cared to perfect my sight after hearing my prayers. It was a cinematic experience for me and something really cinematic happened next week. Yes, you guessed it right she turned up on that day (and in case you couldn’t guess, you’re too dumb to continue reading). She was standing two shelves away from the entrance browsing some books. I felt as if she was waiting for me. I approached her.

“Hi!” with more confidence I said this time.

“Hi!” she replied with a smile.

Just before I could say anything, the stupid manager came along with a bag.

“Here’s your book ma’am, anything else I can do for you?” The manager handed the bag over.

He then looked at me and continued, “Oh Sir, we have your book now. Should I zip one for you too?”

I gave a frowning smile (don’t ask me about it, it’s something that I do when I am pissed off) to the manager and nodded. Then I turned towards her and looked at her with my best smile on(yes, the same best smile that was second best in the world now).

I got the same weird expression from her.

“I got to go now. Nice meeting you once again...?" she said.

“Arsh, What can I call you?” I made the best use of the opportunity I had this time.

“Zee.” She replied.

I blinked my eyes and checked her out once again and said

“You are Zee?”

“Yes, Zeeyana but I like to be called Zee.” She said and looked at me as if it was a warning for me.

“Ok, Zee and what does your real name mean exactly?” I enquired.

“It means bold.”

“Aah! I know that.” saying I smiled.

“My driver will not be back before 2, I will have to wait now. Shit!” She murmured to herself but I guess girls do this thing quite intentionally. They do it because they want us, guys, to hear to their problems and find an absolute solution to them and so,

“You can read more books or window shop here, no big deal.” I suggested.

“No! I want some coffee. Do you wanna sit at Costa?” she asked me.

I had an adrenaline rush through my body. Two weaknesses, first was coffee and second Zee (yes I fell for her by now), I couldn’t resist the tempting offer.

“Yes, who in the world would say no to coffee?” I accepted the offer.

We went to the Costa, had a few cups of coffee while waiting for her driver to return. Over coffee I realised that Zee was the only child in her family and her father owned car business and so I realised that not only she is pretty, intelligent but she does belong to quite a rich family.

When the bill arrived, I was summing up the coins I had in my pocket. The only thing I wondered was it would be a shame if I am unable to pay the bill. Only when I was iquiring myself about how am I going to pay off the bill, Zee snapped it away. I tried to catch hold of it but couldn’t.

“C’mon you are not paying the bill.” I insisted.

“Oh! But I invited you here, so let me…”

“Sure but next time.” I interruped Zee

“Next time?” Zee enquired with her patent one eye brow up expression.

I was flabbergasted, wondering what to say. Suddenly she started laughing and started scribbing on the bill we received.

“LOL! You are so cute. Don’t worry I was just kidding, here’s my number.” She couldn’t stop laughing and I was drowning in the sea of her overwhelmed emotion.

I was at the same time embarrassed and happy. Embarrassed because I should have paid the bill, happy because she called me cute(whenever a girl calls you cute, it means she likes you).

15 minutes thence Rajesh arrived and we both bade adieu to each other. If you are thinking who paid the bill, I must tell you she did.

3 days later, I picked up the bill that had Zee’s number scribbled on it and took the courage to dial.

At first I dialed the number but hung up without it rang. I thought she had given me the number on her own, I shouldn’t be scared to talk to her. I dialed the number.

A few seconds later I heard a computerised voice from the other end,

**The number you have dialed does not exist. Please check the number and dial again.***

I thought may be I dialed a wrong number, so I dialed again but got the same response. I kept dialing the same number again and again but there wasn’t any alter in response. I was appalled and had no idea what to do. Just when I looked at the clock. It was 1.30 PM, Lakshya’s classes are scheduled till 2PM. I don’t know what struck my mind but I quickly caught hold of my bike and flew to school. I tried to find Zee but couldn’t. I enquired about her but got no positive response. One girl who wore a yellow badge that said ‘CAPTAIN’ said there is no girl by the name of Zeeyana in school. The diwali vacations had started in school and students were firing crackers. Each time a cracker was fired, I heard two bursting sounds. One was that of the cracker, the other my heart’s.

I tried to find her in the city but couldn't, went to the car showroom she aforesaid to be her dad’s and found that the owner was a 70 year old man whose wife died 10 years back and had no child.

It’s been 17 years, I’m married and I still own that bill. I even pray at times that I get to see her once again in my life. Costa no more exists so I go to nearby coffee shops hoping one day Zee would come and sit next to me and I will be able to hear her laugh once again.

Disclaimer:All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Valediction

We pack our bags and bid adieu to all of our friends.

Moving into another phase of life as graduates and ready to take a step into the new world, we feel exulted. When the morning arrived on the first day of my college, I was nervous. Thinking about what was going to happen in this new life, a new phase. I feel the same kind of nervousness and chill moving down my spinal as the college is about to end. It seems only like a yesterday, that so many years just went by. Where did all the time go?

Then I realised, “Oh! Orkut and Facebook.”

I turned around and questioned myself,

“What did I gain in all these years?”

A voice came from deep inside, it was a burp.

Then my inner conscience secretly whispered into my ears,

“You were a boy when you came in here. You have learned how to get ragged at first and then how to rag others. It was when you had your first argument with the professor when you realised that there are no free lunches, you don’t get anything and people won’t make your life easy. You’ll have to take it and take it with poise and charm.”

I was baffled. I suddenly looked into the mirror to see if it was only me or if I was under the charm of any haunted spirit. Only when I substantiated that I am no less than a ghost.

My ghost continued,

“When you went to the canteen for the first time you learnt that getting the food was not easy even in the break time. You will have to go through the crowd and buy that bottle of cola to quench your thirst. When you first tasted the mess’s food you were exulted not because the food tasted awesome but because you were a day-sci and you got to eat much healthier food. When the professor was telling you the difference between Norton’s and Thevenin’s you were thinking that no matter how many resistances there are in the path, if you have the current you will pass through it and lighten up the bulb that is connected at the destination. The zeal is necessary in order to gain success. A stale and a salty mind can never work as a lubricant in the path of success.

The principle of optics taught you that light will always travel towards the darkness. Also, you understood that interference and diffraction are not just phenomenon, they add much more to your life. Where on one hand, Interference tells you that meeting of two ideas will result into another idea, it maybe positive as well as negative, and while diffraction told us that the journey to our destination will not be easy. On the other hand, Optical fibre taught you that no matter how many times you are deflected, you should never sway away from your path.”

This was too much gyaan for me though it was no where else but within me. I went on to wash my face and drank some chilled water.

Well that certainly didn’t stop the monster from extending his gyaan session,

“Through second and third year, you learnt that everything else is just the advancement of what you read in the first. Life is quite similar; everything is an advance stage of the previous one. You just need to sense the right situations and make the best use of them.

In the fourth year you discovered that whatever you have been studying for past three years will never ever (not even coincidently) come across you again. During college, you also realise that no matter how late you come to college or perhaps you don’t even come, it is still manageable to maintain an 80% attendence mark.”

I sensed all that I have been learning during these years; I have had a transformation, from a boy to a man. I am much more mature than I was a few years back and I could feel it. The world was waiting for me.

Just when I was rallying all the gyaan that I have been giving to myself for the past one hour my cellphone alarm beeped and I realised I was yet again LATE for college on it's last day.

P.S: Dedicated to all the engineers I know, I m yet to know and I will never know ;)