Loneliness and Me

Loneliness, I questioned, "Why have you struck me?"
"What is it that you want?"

"Who me? No, you have shrugged me."
She answered with spasm.

"You held me and now you're not letting me go."
I told her in despair.

"I did not ask you to come..."
"..I did not know when you reached here."

"The parities of life, brought me here..."
"So why do you blame me?" She answered me there.

"You were to make a choice, you have made one."
"It was all mesmerizing, but now there's none."

"You had the control, could have survived."
"Why did the life choose me? If I were to thrive."

"You could have made a decision, that would have kept you content."
"All I know now is that it wasn't my intent."

The life is beautiful, it's just the way we see.
Sorrow, happiness or perhaps glee.

"I agree with you dear, you've shown me a path."
"It makes me sad, to see my craft."

"No calm down, oh loneliness. Don't be despaired..."
"...You are beautiful, it's just the percept"

एक आहट...

तनहाई में गुम है ऐसे,

की आहट भी कमज़ोर है॥

वो आए ज़रूर मेरी चौखट पर.

पर चंद लम्हों के लिए॥

सदियाँ बीत गयी पर आज भी,

इस दिल में उनकी धड़कनो का शोर है॥

नज़र कमबख्त हटती ही नहीं उनसे.

दिल इबादत, उन्ही का जोर है॥

रौंगटे हो जाते है खड़े,

जब भी होते उनसे रूबरू हम॥

इस दिल के कदम आज भी,

बढ़ते उन्ही की ओर है॥

इश्क तो किया ही हमने,

और दगा भी खायी॥

सन्नाटे भरी गहरी रातें

गिन-गिन उनकी यादों में जलाईं॥

ऐसी चोट खायी ही हमने,

की रूह थरथराती है अब हमारी॥

दिल कांपता है इश्क करने से,

और लोग दिल-फेंक बुलाते है॥

जब मोहब्बत थी हमें उनसे,

हमने थी दुनिया भुलाई॥

आज भी उनकी याद में,

कितनी कड़वी लगे तनहाई॥

एक दौर था जब मुस्कुराते थे हम,

उन्ही के मुस्कुराने से॥

दर्द-ऐ-दिल हाल है मेरा,

आज उनके चले जाने से॥

काश ये दिल बयान कर पाता उस मोहब्बत को,

जो थी, और अब भी है॥

नज़रो में उनकी ज़ालिम है हम.

पर ज़ुल्म किया भी खुदपे है॥

A Loner's Thoughts

19/2/2010 Worli, Mumbai - 17:24 hours

The best thing about being a loner is that you have a world of opportunities surrounding you, freeing you of all obligations and bindings.

You are like a free bird, free it seems, that has the whole world under her feet.

Life seems crazy, when the people in your life have left you and you leave behind some of them while strolling around. There seems a strange darkness and an urge for the sun to rise.

(Though) It Won't !!

The sun won't rise until you stand up and confront time. Time is powerful and a strong headed mentor. It is, also a dehydrator. It dehydrates your life if not timed to perfection or atleast close to it. To make the sun rise up again in your closed dark world, you need to stand up and take a step.

Life is great when postured on canvas. The embossed acrylic feels great to touch but, only the artist knows the hard work he'd put in to make it feel like it.

18:01 Hours
-----


21/2/10 Vikhroli, Mumbai - 2:22 Hours

But of course, who cares about the hard work or the imagination or perhaps, even desires? No one! The selfish world turns up against you and makes you do things you'd never imagined yourself exercising. The myths of life are many and the truths, a few. People, who once have ascertained the truths of life, see the haze around them clearing up. Learning is not a slow process. It is eventually one of the secrets kept away from the minions. Something that plausibly makes it slow or just make it seem slow.

The key is that "there is no key."

(It does remind me of Kung-Fu Panda right now but that's not the shoe that fits the feet.)

You are free, limitless and unbound. Circumscribing oneself is merely closing room for anonymity and surprises because the limits are so tiny from what they can actually be.


2:44 Hours
-----

If Only

If only you would smile at me,
It would have really made my day.

If only you would let me,
I would dance in a crazy way.

If only you knew what people say,
You wouldn't turn around to them.

If only I had a chance,
I would watch you go sleep.

Your eyes are beautiful as pearls,
I like the way you frown.

I can't help looking at you,
I wanna cuddle you down.

I wanna be the one for you,
And I just wanna tell you.

That love is in the air baby,
You wanna fall in love with me.

I got to be the one for you,
I love you, will always do.

Why am I lonely ?

Is it the darkness?

or is it only me?

I see a light ahead,

oh! no, its just me.

why did the moon,

reflect on me, its gloom.

why this melancholy?

why disparity?

this futility,

is emptying me.

I just question this world,

why put me in these twirls.

I feel my head spinning,

my body swerves.

I tried, I tried,

yeah! I served.

gave everything up,

lost all the turf.

It was just for you,

you were my herb.

why did u poison me?

and made me vile.

I don't hate you,

I give u smile.

now I miss you,

not 'cos I love.

its just the care,

I couldn't curb.